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“This isn’t Toy Story, Camila. There’s no one inside of it.”
“You’ll see,” she cryptically coaxed, spinning her way toward the garage door.
“Where are you going?!”
“I just told you!”
She sidestepped Jagger, who was standing in the kitchen with a huge grin on his face, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about.
What the hell was going on?
“What about Journey?” I called out after her.
“You can watch her!”
“What? I’ve never watched her before! You can’t just leave her with me! It’s not my job to watch her, it’s yours!”
“You can handle it for an hour! Just hold her, feed her, change her diaper! You’ve seen me do it hundreds of times!”
“Mary Poppins, what the fu—”
“Finish that sentence, and I’ll wash your mouth out with soap when I get back!” She slammed the door behind her, and there we were left with my baby sister alone for the first time.
“What do we do with her?” Jagger asked, standing next to me. Shaking his head.
“Uh… she seems alright down there.”
“For now.”
Journey was sitting on her old Ninja Turtle blanket on the floor, gazing at us with an expression like don’t fuck this up or I’ll shit on you.
I slapped Jagger’s chest. “Tag, you’re it.”
“What? Camila said you were responsible for her. Not me. Plus, I think she’s dropping a bomb right now.”
“Uh… I don’t think so.”
“She has her poop face going.”
“Journey, do you hear what he’s saying about you? Tell him you’re just flushed cuz Mary Poppins killed your bunny.”
“Gah!”
“See.” I slapped him again. “She’s just chilling.”
“Nope. I think she’s pushing a turd out.” He picked her up, holding her in between us. “Check her.”
What other choice did I have, her diapered ass was in my face. “Fine.” I pulled her shorts and diaper away from her butt. “Oh my God, Journey! What is she feeding you?”
She fell into a fit of giggles, kicking her legs. Causing the massive explosion in her diaper to get further all up in there.
“What do we do?”
“We’re gonna have to change her.”
“How?”
“I don’t know the rules.” I shrugged. “I guess we’ll hose her down.”
