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“I’m calling for help, Suga’.”
I yearned to touch her and when I reached out for her again she retracted like a wounded child.
“Please, don’t call anyone. Please,” she pleaded in a tone that broke my fucking heart more than it already was.
I set the phone down next to me and put my hands out in the air so she could see them.
“Suga’, I’m not going to hurt you. Do you understand me? You’re safe now, I’m here,” I pleaded with her.
She closed her eyes, a single tear falling down her bruised cheek.
“Baby,” I muttered my voice breaking with my eyes watering. “Baby, please, let me touch you. It’s me, Aubrey, it’s me.”
More tears slid down her beautiful face and I gently swept them away, but she still flinched from my touch. My face frowned and it took everything in me to keep it together. She needed me to be strong for her.
For us.
“Please, baby, open your eyes and look at me, see that it’s me.”
My walls were crumbling down. I took her blood-covered hands that were zip tied together and gently placed them on my heart. “Feel me, Aubrey.”
She instantly pulled her hands away from me and winced in pain.
I took in all the bruises, the finger imprints on her neck and arms. I had to shut my eyes for a minute before I made my way below her waist, already knowing what I’d find. I opened them and immediately saw the dried blood on her inner thighs and the marks on her legs and skinned knees.
I bowed my head in such shame and remorse all at once, hitting me harder than anything I have ever experienced before.
“No, no, no… what did he do to you, baby? What did he fucking do to my girl?” I openly wailed, trying to catch my breath. “I’m so sorry, Aubrey, I’m so fucking sorry,” I choked out hanging my head over her body.
My face drenched with nothing but guilt.
I sat up pulling my shirt over my head. “I’m going to sit you up so I can put this on you, and then I’m going to carry you and we’re going to go to the hospital so that the doctor can check you and make sure—”
“NO!” she shouted, opening her eyes. “No fucking hospitals. I don’t want to go! Please, please, please, don’t make me go. I’m begging you, please—”
“Shhh…” I whispered, caressing her face with the knuckle on my hand. “Shhh… I’m still going to sit you up and carry you, okay? We can go back to the cabin, and I can check you. Alright?”
She didn’t answer, but I took her silence as a yes. She whimpered in pain when I sat her up, and I quickly placed the shirt over her head and down her body. The zip ties not allowing me to pull her arms through the sleeves.
She turned away from me like the mere smell of me was painful.
“I’m going to carry you now. We can go as slow as you need, suga’.”
“Just fucking do it,” she replied in a harsh tone.
I picked her up into my arms like she was a baby, being careful not to hurt her. She cried the entire way back to the cabin. Each tear that fell from her face would forever be ingrained in my soul.
Every. Last. One.
I opened the door, trying like hell not to make any sudden movements that would cause her any more pain. I grabbed the scissors from the kitchen and gently laid her on the bed in one of the other bedrooms. I didn’t want to take a risk carrying her up the stairs to our bed. I cut the zip ties, sick to my fucking stomach the entire time. She immediately scooted as far away from me as possible when she heard them snap, even though it caused nothing but more agony to her already broken body.
“Baby,” I whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching for her.
She put her hands out in the air, stopping me. “Please, just go,” she muttered, barely loud enough for me to hear.
“Go where, darlin’? Where do you want me to go? I’m not fucking leaving you like this.”
She looked right at me for the first time since I found her with dead eyes. Not one ounce of love left in there for me.
