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“Well, that’s a lot of questions, sweetheart, and I don’t think this is the place to answer them. You’re clinging to me like a barnacle, and your dad is going to be out any minute. I don’t think Jimmy wants to see his little girl plastered all over his best friend.”
I blink again, and realize that Killian’s right. I’m slung across the older man’s frame like a limpet with a death-grip on a rock. Holy hell! Quickly, I release my grip and tread water on my own, still blinking in shock.
“But Uncle Killian, how did this happen? What? When?”
He shakes his head, droplets flying out from his black hair.
“Let’s meet up tomorrow,” he says in a smooth tone. “I’ll tell you everything you need to know then, Leah.”
Then, the older man hauls himself out of the pool, and it’s like watching a movie scene in slow motion. His big body is bronzed, muscular, and his back and arms are corded with muscle as water sluices off that powerful frame. His thighs bulge as he sets foot on the tile, and he strides away to the cabana without a second look over his shoulder.
Meanwhile, I’m still blinking with shock and awe in the pool because the man I’ve been hunting has been under my nose this entire time! The mystery guy with the special anatomy is none other than Killian Jerome, my father’s best friend, and now … he’s going to tell me all about it.
4
Leah
I’m sitting in the waiting area at Wissam’s Haberdashery in downtown Allentown, and I’m practically shaking with nerves. But they’re good nerves, and not bad ones because it’s going to happen. After I figured out that Killian is the mystery man, he promised to tell me everything, and I’m going to hold him to his word.
After all, the rumors are only growing in strength, and I can’t believe that the answer has been right in front of my eyes this whole time. Who would have imagined that it was my dad’s best friend with the double-headed anaconda? Where has he been hiding it all this time? My heart’s been pounding non-stop for twelve hours, and after Killian left our house last night, I retreated to my room to try and calm down a bit. But then, I got a breathless call from Mandy.
“You won’t believe it,” she began without a salutation.
“What? What is it?”
“Well, I’ve heard that this man doesn’t just have two dicks. He hasthree!”
My brow wrinkled in confusion and I locked my bedroom door to make sure that I’d have complete privacy for the conversation.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well,” Mandy burbled. “You know that everyone’s been talking about a double-dicked man roaming around Allentown terrorizing the female population, right? Allegedly, the rumors were wrong! He hasthreedicks, and not two.”
I squint while playing with a loose thread on my cream-colored coverlet. Obviously, the rumors are getting out of hand because I saw with my own eyes Killian’s board shorts, and felt his massive members pressed against me. He has two, and not three appendages. Or was I mistaken? Maybe in the heat of the moment, I lost my ability to count and couldn’t even make it up to the number three. Who knows.
“I’m not sure,” I hedge in a low tone. “It sounds pretty far-fetched, Mandy. Do you think the rumors could be getting out of hand? I mean, I’m not saying you’re lying, or that anyone’s lying, for that matter. I’m just saying that it sounds like we’re pretty far off the reservation now. I mean, three tools is insane, right? Maybe the next woman will say four. Or why not a dozen?”
Mandy doesn’t catch my drift at all.
“That would be amazing!” she squeals. “Oh my god, how would he even use a dozen cocks? One in a woman’s mouth, one in back, one in front, two for your hands, and—”
“Mandy,” I cut her off. “I wasn’t trying to be facetious. I was just making the point that I think we have to consider that this could all be fake news. Let’s face it: life in Allentown is boring, and maybe this is just gossip created to stir up some drama.”
“Yeah, but my Aunt Emily went on a date with this guy,” Mandy says in an insistent voice. “Emily’s family, and she doesn’t lie. I mean, I’m not saying my aunt wouldn’teverlie because she has in the past. I just don’t think she’s lying now.”
I nod because in my heart of hearts, I know I should keep Killian’s secret. I should dispel any rumors of a two-cocked monster, and instead play it up to hysteria, gossip, or good ole stirring-up-shit. But I hate throwing Emily Johnson under the bus because yes, the older woman’s had her problems in the past. But we all have, and I don’t want to be unnecessarily malicious.
“Maybe Emily just remembered wrong,” I suggest in a gentle tone. “Is that possible?”
Mandy is silent for a moment.
“I guess so.”
“I mean, didn’t your aunt just get out of rehab?” I ask, pushing a little. “Maybe she fell off the wagon and went on a bender the night of her so-called date.”
Mandy lets out a huge sigh on the other side of the phone.
“Maybe. My mom will be so disappointed if that happened because it’s the third time my aunt has been in rehab in five years. Alcohol dependency is real, girlfriend. It’s a disease.”
