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But the truth was that I knew exactly what she was going to do.
I was just too much of a selfish dickhead to stop her.
Not when it meant that I would prevent her from rearing up and brushing her lips against mine. The move was surprisingly innocent, a gentle touch. Barely a kiss. And it could have ended there if I let it, with only my breath brushing against her mouth as she pulled away.
But I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her closer, sucking her lower lip into my mouth.
She gasped, an innocent sound full of desire.
I groaned, taking the kiss even deeper, my tongue pushing between her lips and tasting her. Fuck, she tasted good. Her lips were soft and pliable, and I played with her plump lower lip. Her tongue met mine boldly with a tentativeness that showed she wasn’t exactly experienced in this, but she was caught up in it all the same. She confirmed the latter by throwing her arms around my neck and pressing her body against me.
Fuck, I could feel her breasts against my chest.
My cock throbbed, demanding more from this embrace.
I seriously needed to put a stop to this now before it was too late.
Just as she began rubbing her body up against my chest, I grabbed her arms and pushed her away, holding her there firmly. I shut my eyes and took several deep breaths, waiting for my sanity to return. It was slow in doing so because I could still hear her gasping breaths and sense her body fighting against my hold, asking for more. Wanting more.
And then she suddenly stopped, and the silence was deafening.
“Oh my God.” My eyes slid open to catch the look of chagrin on her face. Her face was red, her embarrassed eyes wide as she clapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I just did that.”
I simply stared at her, trying to figure out what the fuck she was apologizing for while she continued babbling, “I don’t know why I did that, but I’m…I can’t…it’s just that I’ve had a very bad day…a very bad month actually, ever since my dad died, and I can’t sleep. I wasn’t thinking, and I’m so sorry...” She shifted, and so did my attention, my eyes falling to her chest. Two of her shirt buttons had popped open, revealing smooth skin and a cleavage that teased the pervert in me. Fuck, I wanted it in my mouth. I wanted to taste her rosy skin, lick her birthmark, and suck those nipples that were nearly poking through her shirt.
Stop it,I cautioned myself, but before I could drag my eyes away, I analyzed her birthmark a little more.
It was an odd one, three irregular shapes that were like a combination of a half-moon with a smiley face.
A smiley moon.
A very familiar smiley moon.
My eyes snapped up to her face, blocking out the words falling from her lips. I was looking for other similarities, noting the dimples on her cheek, her pert little nose, and the fact that she was blonde but had dark roots. Her brown eyes could have been a dead ringer for Max’s.
Ever since my father died,she had said.
Everything instantly snapped into place as the full magnitude of my fuck up came into play.
Matilda. Tillie.
I had just kissed my dead friend’s daughter.
NINE
TILLIE
At this point, I was an expert at fucking up.
I’d fucked up a lot of things in so many different ways that I should teach a class on it or something.
But I’d never fucked up this badly before.
My brain was trying to figure out how I’d gotten into this predicament, but it was all a blur. One second, I was crying, and the next second, someone was holding me. But not just any someone. It was my neighbor, the man I would have called a heartless judgmental bully just a few days ago. The man who had traumatized my dog and told me I was wasting my life.
That man was the one holding me while I was crying like a baby, completely without any dignity or decorum. I’d wailed in his arms, probably getting a pool of tears and other goo on his shirt. He’d comforted me. I could still feel his hand, a confident strength, against my back, his deep murmurs in my hair. His body was so warm and comforting, like a blanket. I just wanted to crawl into him and not come up for air for some time. I wanted to just hide from the world.
Before I knew it, my sobs subsided. The sadness had receded into its deep dark corner, leaving space for the desire to come in. I finally noticed that I was touching his naked chest, his hot naked chest that I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind. I’d thought about it while touching myself, imagining that it was him doing it, that it was his body pressing down on me as his strong hand teased my clit before dipping into my wet pussy.
