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Oh, Satan thinks he’s so smug.
I, on the contrary, am not pleased with either man. The nerve of them to barter between themselves over who should “get the girl.” Well, sorry guys, I’m not some brainless object you can trade amongst yourselves.
Both gentlemen would greatly benefit from a meal of humble pie.
“Dude.” There’s a mocking note in Archie’s voice. “Are you sure the dibs has nothing to do with the lady having the best pair of legs I’ve ever seen, not to mention pretty big…”
He doesn’t finish the phrase, only makes a caveman noise. But I know he’s not talking about my big eyes. I can practically see Archie mimicking cupping boobs.
“She’s a beautiful woman,” Logan says. A compliment that, coming from Satan’s lips, doesn’t resonate as one. It’s like Logan has to admit I’m attractive against his will, and he resents me for it. And his next sentence confirms I’m right. “There’s no denying it. But she’s been a giant pain in my ass from the moment I set eyes on her.” Why? What did I do, besides existing and being female, I mean? “So, yes, I’m sure.”
“If you say so.” Archie sounds unconvinced.
“Promise me you won’t try to get in her panties,” Logan insists. “This expedition is important to me, Arch. I need you to be focused. Promise me.”
“All right, man, I swear. Relax…”
“When you and the genteel sex are involved, I can’t. I’m only trying to avoid another Acapulco.”
“Ah, yes, that would be impractical.”
“Impractical? You nearly got us both killed. The lady’s father chased us off his property with a loaded shotgun.”
These two sound like they have a lot of history together.
“Okay,” Archie concedes. “You’ve made your point. But—”
“No buts!”
“—if the lady can’t resist me and tries something, I can’t make assurances…”
“You’re incorrigible! Sooner or later it’ll come back to bite you in the ass.”
“Until then.”
I hear the clinking of ice in a glass, as if Archie just raised his drink in a mock toast.
There’s a pause, and then Archie talks again. “You worry too much, my friend. You said it yourself: the scans don’t lie. Something man-built lies hidden in this jungle.”
“But is it the legendary lost city of gold?”
“Would it make any difference if it were only stone?”
“No,” Logan admits. “It’d still be the greatest discovery of the century.”
“Even greater than an untouched pharaoh tomb?” Archie asks, an edge to his voice.
“Low blow, man,” Logan says, sounding displeased. “She has nothing to do with this.”
She? There’s a she?
Archie sighs. “Too soon?”
“Can we please not talk about women ever again?”
“And where would the fun be in that?” After a few moments of silence, Archie continues, “Let’s make a bet instead. How long do you reckon before the photographer falls at my feet?”
I’m tempted to jump on the bed and yell, “Not gonna happen!” out of the window, but I keep my anger in check. Vengeance is a plate better served cold. And both gentlemen definitely need to be taken down a peg or two.
