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Family. That’s the other, more important reason. I want one of my own. A husband. Kids. The white fence. And the cat—no offense to dog lovers.
And Archie can give me none of those things. We’re Monica and Richard fromFriends;I want kids, he doesn’t. I just have to be strong and stay away from him and hope one day my Chandler will come along.
Just another few hours. I can be strong.
The seating arrangements are on my side. Inside the wall-less house, the wedding party table is laid parallel to the short side of the rectangular dais while the other tables are perpendicular to it. The bride and groom are seated in the middle. Archie is on Logan’s right, and I’m on my sister’s side two spots down. Unless I lean forward, I can’t even see the best man, which is great.
I’ve been so lost inside my head that it isn’t until the second starter that I notice the person sitting next to me. And I notice him only because he asks me if I could pass him the breadbasket.
I mean, I knew Lana had a plus one, and who the plus one was. But how the hell did I not notice I’ve been sitting next to Christian Slade for the past half hour? I swear he wasn’t here when I sat down and, okay, I’ve been doing my best to stare the other way, but Penelope, his assistant, must’ve conjured him out of thin air.
I hand him the breadbasket, trying not to blush. And not because he’s the celebrity actor who I’ve had a crush on since his first movie came out. But because this is the man who found Lana crying in a hotel closet after she’d discovered the affair I was having with her boyfriend.
With every new person I meet that knows about The Mistake, fresh shame engulfs me, and I’m brought back to that dark spot in my past filled only with self-loathing.
He takes the breadbasket from me and nods a thanks. “Summer, right?” he says.
I nod.
“I’m Christian,” he says, needlessly.
“Er… nice to meet you?” It comes out as a question because I’m not clear where this man’s opinion of me lands. Also, we both have our hands full—his with a bread bun, and mine with the knife and fork I’ve just picked up—so we don’t have to shake.
Christian breaks off a piece of bread without bringing it to his mouth. “I always wondered how I’d feel about meeting you.”
He has been wondering about me? I’m too stunned to reply, so he continues. “On one hand, you hurt Lana in a way no one deserves to be hurt.” A wave of humiliation hits me as Christian speaks, and I lower my gaze in response. “On the other, if it weren’t for you, I would’ve never met her…”
As per my new policy of not shying away from my mistakes, I own up to them. “What I did to her was inexcusable. And I don’t know where she found the strength to forgive me. I’m only glad something good came out of the mess I made. She’s really happy with you, and all I ask is that you give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Before he can reply, Lana pops her head forward.
“Hey, what are you two whispering about?”
Christian lowers his tone even further. “I was asking Summer for skincare advice.” Now I’m even more stunned that Christian Slade,People’s Magazine Sexiest Man Alive six times in a row, knows what I do for a living. “I have to beat Hollywood’s ageism, ya know?”
Lana rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry, your skin is more glowing than mine.” She wrinkles her nose and, looking at me, she adds, “So annoying.”
When Lana turns away again, Christian gives me a small, imperceptible nod that I receive as, “You get the benefit of the doubt once, but hurt my girl again and you’ll end up on my shit list forever.”
I nod back, projecting, “Thank you, and I won’t screw up again, I’ve learned my lesson.”
* * *
The second course is cleared out and, before the wedding cake is presented, it’s time for the speeches. Logan makes an impossibly romantic one that has half the audience crying. My sister takes the mic next. She spends the first half of her speech gushing over her new hubby, making everyone aww—more tears are shed. Then she turns to Mom and Dad and thanks them. And then she turns to me.
“And, Summer, thank you for being here by my side this week. I know I’m not always the easiest sister to have, that sometimes”—she raises her eyes to the sky as if the next phrase is costing her a lot—“I butt my nose into stuff that is really none of my business. And sometimes I have too strong opinions…”
Logan coughs loudly, and the crowd laughs.
“My husband seems to agree,” she says, and then looks back at me. “But please know that when I’m at my most insufferable self, it is only because I love you and I want the best for you. You’re an amazing human being, inside and out, and I hope you know that.”
I feel a lump form in my throat as I nod at her. But she’s not finished. “You’ve always been there for me, through thick and thin, when the opposite hasn’t always been true, and there’s nothing I regret more. But we’re both just humans and we make mistakes, and if people can’t move past that”—she pointedly stares at Daria and Susan— “that’s their loss. You deserve love and you deserve happiness, and I hope that one day you’ll be as lucky as I feel today to have found a man who loves you as thoroughly and completely as you deserve.” She makes to sit down but then stands up again and adds, “And that he won’t be too much of a chicken to fight for you when the time comes.”
The crowd laughs and claps as my sister pointedly passes the microphone to Archie.
And then it’s the best man’s turn to speak. I’m still so emotional from my sister’s speech I’m not sure I’m prepared to hear his sexy voice magnified by a thousand speakers.
Archie stands up, giving me an excuse to watch him while he can’t stare back for longer than a few moments, not unless he wants to make his speech very awkward.
