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“Is he though? He convinced an FBI agent to murder me and it almost worked.”
I pick up my laptop with a grunt. “That’s a good point, but it’s a different situation. WeknowBurian’s coming. We didn’t know he was onto us at that point. We have an advantage this time. And the price he’d have to pay to get to your grandfather wouldn’t be worth the effort.”
“It doesn’t feel that way.”
I walk past her, into the living room. She ghosts after me, pacing with a simmering discontent. I miss the wide-eyed looks, the laughter. Even her biting little comments. She was playful only a day earlier. Today, she looks like she’d happily toss me out a window.
“I’ve never lied to you,” I say, which is definitely the wrong thing in this situation, but I can’t help myself.
She hardens instantly. “Yeah? I guess lies of omission don’t count?”
“No, they don’t.”
“Convenient.” She rubs her right fist into her left palm. “I’m going whether you let me or not. This is only a courtesy.”
“No, you’re not,” I say, flipping open my laptop. “Because I won’t let you.”
Her face turns pink. It’d be cute if she weren’t so fucking mad. “That’s how it really is then? All this time, I’ve been a prisoner?”
“No, all this time you’ve been having fun sleeping with me.Nowyou’re a prisoner.”
“Don’t be a prick,” she says sharply. “You know what I’m saying.”
I put my laptop aside, exasperated. I spread my hands, trying to get her to see that I’m being totally sincere. “This is exactly what he wants.”
Her face hardens. “Convenient for you.”
“No, Renata, not remotely. You think I want to keep you locked inside against your will? Because I really don’t. The problem is, you remain the only person that knows what Burian looks like, which makes you his top target. He willneverlet you live, so long as he’s still drawing breath.”
Her face pales slightly. “He was always planning on killing me, wasn’t he? Since the moment we did that video chat?”
“Yes,” I say, positive it’s the truth. “Him threatening your grandfather is only meant to make you react. He’s trying to draw you out the same way we were trying to draw him out. You can’t fall for it.”
She stands, glaring hot death at me, but I can tell some of what I’m saying is getting through. After a long pause, she walks over and throws herself into a chair, knees pulled up to her chest. “What the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t just sit in here, Lanzo. I’m going insane with worry.”
“Call him, say hello, make sure he’s comfortable. Then stop being so mad and help me take Burian down.”
She rolls her eyes. “It always comes back to what you need, huh?”
“I didn’tneedany of this, darling. I had a good thing going. Then you came along.”
“Oh, sorry I ruined your life,” she says with a bitter laugh.
“That’s not what I meant.” I work my jaw, getting frustrated.
“That’s what you said. You had a good life, then I came along and fucked it all up. Yeah, I get it, Lanzo. You were some super spy working for whoever would pay. What a terrible guy. But the thing is, despite everything, I thought you were being honest with me. Now I get that even I’m just another piece of your revenge fantasy.”
“That’s not true,” I say, hating myself for being unable to get her to understand. Our relationship is different from anything I’ve ever felt before. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, and all she can see right now is a liar. When I never meant to mislead her.
My past with Burian is an ugly stain. I’ve gone over it a dozen times in my head, wondered how the hell I never saw the truth sooner, how I kept on taking jobs despite working for a madman. Despite being on the wrong side.
I talk a big game about morality.
There’s a part of me that wants to believe it.
Thatwantsto leave the shackles of society behind.
Instead, I’m still bound to people, and being with Renata has only proven that.
