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I think of Arabella and…everything.
“Initially, I’d been optimistic when I noticed you making friends. That changed the moment I saw who, exactly, your new associates were. It seemed to be a sick joke, and I watched over the coming months as your group expanded into the five of you. But, I said to myself, girls are meant to keep boys’ behavior in line, and I had a small hope that you’d be a positive influence. Clearly, I was wrong. I don’t see you making any kind of effort on this front — and as such, here you are today, standing in front of me after a brutal act of hooliganism.”
Her phrasing makes me bristle. This is all my fault? My fault for… being agirl? A bad influence? Held to higher standards than the other chiefs because of my sex?What?
“Is this all I am to you?” I ask, astonished. “Some kind of regulator of male behavior?” Certainly not a person in her own right, with hopes and dreams and an inner life… “Just someone to make your job and life easier?”
“Oh, trust me, Miss Weir, you donotmake anything at all easy for me,” Baxter retorts acidly. “I’m not blinkered,” she continues as I glare, “I’m fully aware young people are selfish by nature.Boysin particular. But in time they grow old enough to regret their actions, by which point a whole new generation of selfish young people are waiting in the wings, ready to be schooled. You five, however, seem too worryingly self-absorbed to ever reach that stage, and quite frankly I’m tired of it. The lawlessness, the cruelty, the bullying, the casual disregard for authority—”
“Luke’s mother wasmurdered,” Danny says slowly, stressing the latter word, and Baxter’s mouth snaps shut. I find myself equally surprised. Danny rarely talks back like the rest of us: from him, this is an act of uncommon bravery. “Did you offer him any support? Did you ever even speak to him?”
“Be that as it may—”
“No. There is no ‘be that as it may.’ Lukeisthe ‘be that as it may.’” Rory’s brows fly into his fair hair, and even Luke tilts his head toward Danny in curiosity. Danny’s voice is strong, controlled, and it’s so unlike him to stand up to authority like this that the whole room feels swamped with a deep, unfamiliar silence.
“You, too, are another one I expected better from, Mr. Hamilton. You were the ideal, obedient student for a good number of years. What would your father say if he heard you right now?”
“‘Fetch me my slippers, you fucked-up little queer?’” Danny answers flatly, and beside him, Rory’s gray eyes widen into startled silver disks. I’m still tipsy and it takes a second to process that yes, Danny actually said these words out loud. Finlay can no longer contain his laughter, a choked, shocked snort as he stares at Danny with a mixture of respect and awe.
But Danny looks… he looks incredible at that moment, facing the full heat of Baxter’s judgment, his chin raised, his brown eyes fierce and dark. He’s self-assured, full of powerful conviction like nothing can unnerve him, neither our head teacher nor the ghost of his father’s words.
“Get out,” Baxter says quietly. “You use language like that, you can get out now.”
Danny doesn’t need to be told twice. He stalks over to the doorway, his head held high, and I note his flushed freckled cheeks and the determined look on his face. When he squeezes past me, I reach out to him, trailing my fingers down the length of his forearm. Danny turns to me and shoots me a soft half-smile.
“You asked for the truth and then you don’t want to hear it,” Rory sneers, still looking slightly shaken as the door shuts behind Danny. “You want sanitized rubbish, not reality. Typical.”
“I think,” Baxter says slowly, still refusing to listen to Rory. “I think you all need to be split up. Yes. It’s the only way.”
My heart plummets to my shoes.
“As a group, you seem to be operating under the mistaken impression that you run this school. Your behavior is deplorable and you dishonor the noble principles Lochkelvin was founded upon. So how about we sever those ties until you regain some focus as to what’sactuallyimportant: studying, passing exams, and making Lochkelvin proud.”
Her eyes are sharp, shining beads. “You three will be assigned separate bedrooms until your behavior significantly improves,” she tells the boys, clipped and cool, and Luke’s dark gaze slants to the side with a twisted, private smirk.He’s leaving, I think to myself. None of this affects him. “If it takes until the end of the school year, then so be it. And as foryou…” She rounds on me, her hawk-like glare skewering me in place. “You will be relegated to the girls’ tower on a more permanent basis. Your freedom to roam this castle has ended. You will be required to ask a teacher for a pass to move inside the school when out of school hours. Do you understand?”
“Insidethe school,” I murmur, checking that I understand Baxter, that she doesn’t realize the gaping loophole present within her words. The others pick up on my inflection. We have a whole fucking secret island to ourselves, where no idiots can intrude. When Baxter responds with nothing and continues looking at me likeI’mthe idiot, clearly not anticipating that anyone would willingly be outside for extended periods in winter, I tell her, “Got it.”
“There are spare rooms on the first floor, the third floor, and the fourth.” She slides open her desk drawer and pulls out three keys from a small box. “Your dormitory will be shut for the duration — perhaps forever. Say your goodbyes now. I want you to move your things into your new rooms by the end of tonight.”
She walks out from behind her desk, handing the three gold keys to the chiefs. When Luke receives his, he gazes down at it as though he wants to throw it back in Baxter’s face and announce his imminent departure. But for now he keeps quiet, his eyes assessing.
“Can I go now?” I ask, trying not to sound quite so snarky. “Or do I need a pass for that, too?” Never mind.
“You stay behind,” she answers sharply, and my shoulders sag. Great. I get the luxury of a personal telling-off.
“The three of us have shared that room for years,” Rory says in a quiet voice as he turns the key between his fingers. “Long before you arrived on the scene.”
“And now I’m removing that privilege from you, Mr. Munro. Reward and punishment — perhaps you’re unfamiliar with the concept. It appears you’ve had too much of the former and not enough of the latter.” She leans against the edge of her desk, her arms crossed over her chest. “Now get out.”
With surly expressions, Rory, Finlay and Luke slope over to the door. They each shoot me a sympathetic glance until Baxter shoos them away with a brisk clap of her hands.
The room falls silent again. Baxter says nothing, just inspects me as she rests against the desk, her arms still folded.
I can’t stand the silence. It’s thick with her judgment and contempt, the same way it had been after my talent show dance.
“Answer me honestly,” she eventually begins, three words that prickle my nerves. “What is your relationship with those boys?”
Lost, I finally look at her. Is it not obvious enough? When I kiss Rory, hold hands with Danny, hug Finlay, make moon eyes at Luke…?
