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I raised an eyebrow. “Why the sudden hesitation?”
“Because the last time she left you, I had to pick you up off the floor every day.”
“Not every day, Ralph.”
“You’re right.” He crossed his arms. “It was every night, too.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I just know how much she means to you.”
“Meant. What we had is in the past tense now.”
“Right.” He sighed. “Well, Miss Dawson said that she seems quite serious about keeping this deal professional, so don’t forget that she was the one who broke up with you for whatever reason.”
“She didn’t have a reason at all.”
“Exactly. So, please don’t let her in, and please don’t allow her to break you again.”
“She didn’tbreak me, Ralph.”
He gave me a blank stare.
“She didn’t.” I shrugged. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Did I ever tell you how I saved all six hundred and seventeen drunk voicemails you left after she broke up with you?” he asked. “I also saved all the late-night, ‘How could she do this to me?’ and ‘I feel like I got run over by a Mack truck’ text messages you sent as well. Would you like me to refresh your memory by letting you see them?”
“I won’t let her in again.”
“Thank you.”
NINE & A HALF
PRESENT DAY
TATIANA
Manhattan, New York
Me:
Meet me at Whimstery Cafe once you see this. It’s an emergency.
Text from Penelope:
I just met you there for another “emergency” this morning! Are you dying?
Me:
No…
Text from Penelope:
Are you trying to tell me that you’ve been secretly in love with me since the day we met? (Hayden thinks so. He said we’d make a cute couple.)
Me:
OMFG. No, Penelope. (Hayden is full of shit.)
