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“No.” Tatiana crossed her arms.”Not at all.”
Madeline and Ralph stared at me, silently demanding that I give in, but I refused. I’d given Tatiana more than enough.
“Travis…” Ralph whispered harshly. “Travis, propose. Now.”
“I’ve made enough money in my career,” I said. “Draft my retirement announcement.”
“Your ego is way too big for you to retire on the heels of a loss,” he said. “I know it, you know it, everyone in the goddamn world knows it, so suck it up so we can focus on eliminating the one and only ‘L’ you’ve ever had in your life.”
“I’ve hadtwoLs.” I looked at Tatiana. “This latest one doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the first one.”
“Point taken.” Tatiana stood up from her chair. “I’ll catch an Uber back to your place and fly back to New York.”
She turned to walk away, but I grabbed her hand.
Squeezing it, I waited for her to face me and swallowed what was left of my pride.
I slowly got down on one knee and looked into her eyes. “You have nothing better to do while you’re here in Vegas, so I think you should marry me. Don’t you agree?”
“This is your idea of proposing?” She glared at me. “Really?”
“Last time I told you how I felt, it didn’t matter.”
She pulled her hand away, but I held it tighter and gave in.
“Tatiana Brave,” I said. “I could really use a bit more of your help for my current situation, and I know it’s a lot to ask, given our history, but will you please marry me?”
She looked at me for several seconds before letting out a breath.
“Yes.”
“Perfect!” Madeline finally stood up from the floor.” I know the perfect place where you two can go get hitched this time of night. You won’t be disappointed.”
SIXTEEN
PRESENT DAY
TATIANA
Fifty Miles Outside Las Vegas
Homer’s Strippers & Liquor & Weddings
Abedazzled Michael Jackson impersonator moonwalked in front of our town car, waving a double-sided “We Fight Child Support Here” and “Get Free Condoms” sign.
“Surely there’s another chapel we can go to, Mr. Faber,” Travis said.
“According to Miss Dawson, this is the only one that’ll give you a marriage license on the spot at this hour.” Mr. Faber put the car in park. “Otherwise, I can take you to town hall tomorrow, and we can go to a prettier chapel afterwards.”
I glanced out my window and spotted two ladies dressed in bright pink feather boas and thongs. They waved and pointed at the chapel’s “Happy Hour Pussy” marquee.
“That’s okay.” Travis unbuckled his seatbelt. “Let’s get this over with.”
He walked to my side of the car and ushered me inside a world of neon lights and rows of floor-to-ceiling poles.
“Hey there!” A man dressed in a leather jockstrap and a pink bow tie stepped in front of us. “You folks here for this evening’s chicken strip and stripper special?”
We shook our heads, and I noticed his hairy balls dangling from the leather.
