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DUKE
7 years ago…
The wheels touched down, jolting me awake. I was so fucking tired after the bumpy ride back to the United States. After an entire fucking year of being deployed, I was ready to lay down in bed and sleep for a good week.
“Finally,” Bowie sighed next to me.
“Yeah,” I grunted. “It’s been really rough on you.”
“Hey, you’re the dumb fuck that agreed to extend his tour.” He shook his head at me. “You have a wife at home. Why the fuck would you not take leave?”
“The money was good,” I said, shrugging as if that was the only reason I chose to accept the offer.
The truth was, the money was good, but I didn’t want to take leave. I rushed into a marriage because the girl I fucked a few months before I deployed showed up pregnant. Hell, I wasn’t even sure the baby was mine, but I wouldn’t be the jackass that backed out of my responsibilities. Because if there was even the slightest chance I was that kid’s father, I had to do right by him. There were no guarantees that I would come back from any mission. So, the minute she told me she was pregnant, the only thing I could think to do was marry her and make sure the kid was provided for in case I didn’t come home.
“Still, you haven’t even met your kid yet. Aren’t you excited?”
The doors opened, giving me a reprieve from answering. I hauled my pack onto my back and stretched out the kinks.
“Duke,” Bowie clapped me on the shoulder, a look of concern on his face. “What’s going on?”
He could always read me like a book, but these thoughts were only for me. “Nothing. Just tired. It’s been a long fucking tour.”
His grin made even my crabby ass smile. “Then let’s get the fuck out of here. I need a steak and at least a six pack.”
I nodded and got in line to deplane. I braced for Carolyn to be waiting at the gate, my kid on her hip. My heart was racing at the thought that this was my new reality. I was going to be a father, not by choice, and definitely not by a woman I loved. But I made my bed, and now I had to lie in it.
I licked my lips as I stared into the distance. The sun made it impossible to see who was waiting. Within minutes of us getting off the plane, families started racing to their loved ones. But soon, those families had all reconciled, and I stood there with Bowie, neither of us having anyone waiting for us. Bowie knew no one would be there. He didn’t have any family, and rarely dated anyone. So, there was no surprise there, but Carolyn not showing up was a surprise.
Bowie clapped me on the shoulder, directing me to the main building. “Come on. Let’s go debrief so we can get the fuck out of here.”
The debrief would take hours, which only gave me time to stew in my own thoughts. Maybe she hadn’t gotten my letter. Snail mail was how I usually contacted her, mostly because I didn’t want to be caught off guard on the phone with no idea what to say to her. The last time we talked, she mentioned something about an old boyfriend that kept calling her, but I thought she was trying to make me jealous. I hardly knew her, so getting jealous wasn’t going to happen.
When all was said and done, we headed out to the parking lot. Bowie still had his truck here, so I hitched a ride with him. My stomach was twisted in knots at this point, and we had several hours to drive before we’d get home.
“You sticking around?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes.
“I don’t know. Haven’t decided yet.” He glanced over at me. “Are you sure you want out?”
“I put in the paperwork a year ago. Nothing’s changed for me.”
“Because of the wife and kid,” he nodded.
“I guess.”
I stared out the window, but I could feel his eyes on me. “You know, it was a quickie marriage, and now that you’re out…it’s not like the danger is still there.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning you can provide for your kid without worrying about getting your ass shot off halfway around the world. If this isn’t what you want, get a fucking divorce. Life is too short.”
“And be the asshole that deployed for a year and then came home and divorced her before ever meeting my kid?”
“Ifit’s your kid,” he clarified. “I can’t believe you didn’t ask for a paternity test.”
“There wasn’t exactly time. I needed to make sure she had what she needed before I left.”
