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Chapter 19
We spend two days relaxing and pondering the future, though I try to keep us focused on the former rather than the latter. She needs time — much more time — but after two days she gets bored of sitcoms and salty snacks.
She doesn’t tire of the sex, but that doesn’t have to stop.
“I just want to walk around,” Kate says. “Could you give me a tour of the compound?”
“Sure.”
It’s a good idea, if just for her own safety. In the event of an attack, she should know where to go and what to do.
We start by touring the perimeter, which ends with a climb up an old fire tower observation station. Kate looks cute and comfortable in an oatmeal sweater and loose, borrowed jeans. She shivers at the top of the tower, giving me an excuse to hold her close and shield her from the icy winds.
“From here we can see the roads leading into the area,” I say, gesturing to arrays of cameras and sensors on all four of the tower’s posts. “We have radar for the skies and several of our missile launchers. If anyone manages to find us, they’re not going to have an easy time getting here.”
“Good,” she says, gazing out at the expanse of hills and valleys. “And it’s a beautiful view.”
I sigh, swallowing down my hatred for Anton.
“It must have been hard, living in a cell, not having your freedom. I can’t even imagine it.”
Kate shakes her head.
“It was awful. If it had just been bare walls that would have been bad enough. Anton made me watch my old broadcasts, all the time. He forced me to re-live every humiliating second of them.”
That fucking piece of shit.
“It should have been me, Kate. I should have been in that prison instead of you. I’m the one Anton wanted.”
“It wasn’t like he was going to pick just one of us to hurt,” she says. “He would have done this to me regardless.”
“Maybe if he had me to focus his anger on, he wouldn’t have cared as much about you. He carried this grudge for years, and when he thought I was dead, he let out all his hatred on you instead. That’s my fault.”
“You don’t know that for sure,” she says.
A heavy wind whips through the tower; Kate shivers against me.
“That night when Anton shot me. When he pretended to shoot you and we were in the water, I thought about coming back for you right then.”
“Don’t, Ingram.”
“I didn’t think I could help you. I wanted to, but-”
“I know,” she interrupts. “If I’d seen you were alive, I would have told you to go. I wanted you to do exactly what you did: escape and come back for me when you could. I don’t blame you. It had to be this way.”
She’s right, but it doesn’t make me feel a lot better about what she’s endured since then. If I had known just how horribly he was going to treat her…
“I’ve thought of a lot of could-haves and should-haves since I met you,” I say. “Not killing Anton when I learned he was Simon will go down as the regret of my life. All of this could have been avoided.”
“Yeah.”
“You cold? You want to keep going?”
“Sure.”
—
We head back down and warm up inside; I show her the hangar where we keep the new jet, followed by the bomb shelter.
