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He waited for me to mount before joining me, and he rode without holding me or the horse. And while I would usually be hyperaware of his presence, I was now hyperaware of his absence and found that I hated it far more than I had ever hated the Prince of Thorns.
Chapter Nineteen
What is Love?
Could you love me?
What astupidquestion, I seethed as we returned to the castle. Of course the creature never could, never would love me.
Despite being desperate to touch her, I curled my fingers into fists, refusing. I could not let myself fall deeper into this well—into the hope that she might find me somehow enough.
I thought I would feel some sort of relief when the castle came into view, but I would find no such reprieve. Instead, this feeling of distance created turmoil in my chest.
Balthazar halted, and I dismounted, only to turn and help my creature dismount, my hands closing around her waist.
Once she was safely on the ground, she turned to me.
“G,” she said.
My brows lowered. “What?”
“A letter from my name,” she said, and then her eyes fell from mine as she added, “You will never know how grateful I am to know my sister lives.”
Without another word, she whirled and left the garden. I stared after her, even when I could no longer see her, my mind a chaotic mix of emotions I did not understand, and the longer I felt them—the confusion and strange affection for this mortal woman—the more frustrated I grew. And so I found myself again outside the mortal prince’s cell.
“What is love?” I demanded.
I was not certain what he had been doing before I arrived, but he had his face pressed between the bars of his small window so hard that when he turned to me, I could see their impression on his face.
His eyes widened. “Wh-what?”
“Love,” I said. “What is it? What does itfeellike?”
His mouth opened and closed, and then he cleared his throat.
“Well, it is a feeling,” he answered. “It…uh…it feelsnice.”
“Nice?” I repeated with a click of my tongue.
“Yes, you know…good,” he said, rubbing his palms on his clothes as if he were sweating profusely, though it was cool in his cell. “It’s good.”
I drew my bottom lip between my teeth, nodding.
“Tell me your greatest desire,” I said.
He stared. “Is this a trick?”
“It is not,” I said, and when the prince did not speak, I added, “You have my word.”
Though that promise felt like glass between my teeth.
“My greatest desire is not so simple,” he said. “While it is to be free, if I do not return to my kingdom with a golden apple from a tree that grows in the depths of the Glass Mountains, I cannot marry my beloved.”
It was the most articulate he had been since I began seeking his help.
I raised a brow. “Must you marry her?”
The prince balked. “Of course! If I do not marry her, she will marry someone else.”
