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“Or maybe it’s because I haven’t fucked anyone in a month, but you would know nothing about that because you get fucked every night, multiple times a night.”
“I…do not know what we’re talking about anymore, Apollo, but I think you need therapy.”
“What I need is everyone to leave me the fuck alone!”
There was silence, and then Hades asked, “Apollo…are you in love?”
“What? No!”
“Who is it this time?”
“Don’t make it sound like it means nothing,” Apollo said.
That was not Hades’s intention, though he had known Apollo for a very long time. He’d had a revolving door of lovers, some willing, most unwilling, and he’d claimed to love them all.
“All right then,” Hades said. “What makes this one different?”
“I don’tknow,” Apollo said, frustrated. “That’s theproblem. I just want him.”
“And what? He doesn’t want you?”
The god was silent.
“Apollo?”
“I don’t want to find out,” he muttered.
“What?”
“I don’t want to find out!” he shouted, and his eyes were glassy. “You don’t know what this is like, but I have lovedsomany, and they have never loved me back.”
“Apollo—”
“I don’t want to want this man,” he said. “It would be better for both of us.”
All Hades had wanted was to know what had killed Adonis. Why was this his life?
“The problem is that you do want him,” said Hades. “So what are you going to do about it?”
Apollo blinked. “What do you mean?”
“You want this man, whoever he is—”
“Ajax. His name is…Ajax.”
“You want Ajax. So you can either tell him your feelings or you can do nothing, but if you do nothing, you will have to accept that he will eventually find someone else.”
“Who is to say that isn’t for the best?”
“You cannot compare every lover to Hyacinth, Apollo. That is not fair to you or the lover.”
“Would you not compare every lover to Persephone?” he countered.
Hades’s jaw tightened, and he glared at Apollo. He wouldn’t indulge his temper.
“I remember an Apollo who was willing tolosejust towinthe love of his life,” said Hades. “And here you are, not even willing to take a risk.”
“That Apollo died a long time ago,” Apollo said. “To think, you could have been rid of me if you’d just thrown me into Tartarus.”
