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He keeps looking at me, his eyes searching my face. “Are you happy?” he asks finally.
There is a false sense of intimacy created by how close we’re sitting, by the familiarity of his features, by the knowledge that he knows me better than most people. For a moment, I’m tempted to open up to him, to tell him my fears about Landon. But I hold back, choosing not to respond to the question. Am I happy? Yes, when I’m with Landon. When I don’t have to think of anything else but the fact that he’s with me, I’m content. But when I allow myself to think of what we are, of where we’re going…
Jack is watching my face, as if he’s reading my emotions on my features. I look away from his searching eyes, and at that moment, a couple enters the room. The man is the sports lawyer who’d been flirting with me earlier. The woman looks slightly older, with straightened blonde hair and a nice figure. She waves at Jack then comes over to say hi, leaving her companion to find them seats.
“Sweetheart,” she coos, kissing his cheeks.
“This is Cecily,” he tells me, after their greeting. “Cecily, Rachel.”
The woman peers at me as if I look familiar to her. “Hello,” she says,
“You two have Landon Court in common,” Jack says. He lounges back on his seat. “Cecily lasted about three months, am I right?”
Cecily’s face clouds, then she shrugs, before giving me a speculative look. “You’re the new girlfriend,” she says. “I thought I’d seen your face somewhere.” Her companion signals to her from across the room, and she starts to leave, then turns back to me. “Word of advice? Don’t ask him about the future.”
She’s gone before I say what’s on the tip of my tongue, that I don’t need her advice.
“What is wrong with you?” I hiss at Jack. “You’re parading Landon’s exes just to prove something to me?”
“The opportunity presented itself,” he says, with a shrug at my annoyed expression. “I care about you, Rachel.”
“Oh please!” I toss at him, getting up. “I’m obviously not the only one who’s changed, Jack. I don’t remember you being this much of an asshole.” I stalk out of the room, heading downstairs to the bathroom. I waste time in there, reapplying my lip gloss and staring at my reflection in the mirror.
Don’t ask him about the future.
He’s been fucking her for years.
I’m trying, really trying, not to entertain my fears about my relationship with Landon. I’m trying to exist contentedly in the knowledge that at least he wants to be with me too, that for now at least, he needs me as much as I need him.
But it’s so hard when every minute something comes up to remind me of the heartache that is surely going to be part of my future with him.
I try to dismiss Jack and his friend, to shrug off what she said, then I see Ava Sinclair’s face in my head. She’s in San Francisco right now, with him. I close my eyes as insane possibilities assault my mind, until it feels like I can’t breathe.
My phone is in my purse. I retrieve it and type her name in the search panel. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for, but my greatest dread is that I’ll find something to confirm my fears.
The first result is a news article from yesterday evening. I click on it. “The brightest and the most beautiful!” the headline screams, then there’s a picture of Landon walking out of a building with Ava Sinclair.
“He may be taking over the hotel that has been in her family for generations, but it seems that it’s Ava Sinclair who has Billionaire Landon Court wrapped around her little finger. The twice-divorced socialite was spotted with the hotelier at the Fairmont Royal in San Francisco after enjoying a cozy dinner. Sources say they have a passionate history. Is this old romance being rekindled?”
I study the picture, trying to read everything about their body language and the self-satisfied smirk on her face. It doesn’t help that she looks exquisite even in a candid picture.
He’s been fucking her for years.
What was she to Landon exactly? Why was he spending so much time with her?
I type a quick text to Rafael letting him know that I’m ready to leave. Then I send one to Laurie, telling her I have a headache and Rafael will be back to pick her and Chelsea whenever they’re ready to go home. There’s a crush of people on the way to the exit, and I push past them, willing myself to stop thinking.
You decided to be with him for as long as you could, I tell myself. Don’t overthink anything.
I repeat it as a mantra in my head until I make it outside. There’s still a line of people trying to get in, and I can’t see Rafael yet. So as I wait, I search my mind for all the reassuring things Landon has ever said to me. Everything that makes me sure, deep down, that we have something that’s more than just sex.
Then I see Ava Sinclair’s smirk, and I forget how to think.
“Rachel.”
Jack is walking up to me. He looks as if he ran out after me, but I don’t care what he wants. I blame him, for ruining my evening, and my peace of mind.
“What?” I hiss at him. “What do you want?”
