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He grins. “You know I always have time for you.”
Since when? Definitely not during the two years I spent waiting, hoping, being there for him, while he went from one exotic beauty to another. It’s almost as if he’s forgotten that he knowingly toyed with my feelings for far too long.
He’s peering at my face, and I quickly turn my gaze to the surface of my desk. I’m not as happy as I’d prefer for him to think, but I’d rather he didn’t see the evidence on my face. “You said you caught a bug?” I ask, remembering what he’d said on the phone.
“Yeah,” he nods. “I was out for a couple of days. I’m great now. Just missing my favorite person in the world.”
Our old joke. I ignore it. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
He sighs. “I stopped by to remind you about tonight.”
I should tell him that I’ve changed my mind. I look from the hip casually perched on my desk to his familiar smile, and I imagine how a few months ago I would have been so glad, so grateful to have his attention.
“Why, Jack?”
He frowns. “Why what?”
“First you surprise me in San Francisco, now you want to go out. A few weeks ago you were engaged, and you wanted me to be happy for you. Now you’re suddenly eager to spend time with me.”
“We always spent time together,” he says with a shrug. “Even as friends.” There’s a pause. “I always looked forward to your company, no matter who I was seeing or what I was working on, Rachel. That should never be in doubt.”
He’d wanted my company, but not my love, for two years. Now there’s Landon, who wants my body, but would never allow himself to love me. It feels like I’m the cursed girl in a warped fairy tale. “It’s never going to be the way it was,” I tell Jack, thinking about those months spent as his loyal, adoring sidekick. The long months spent hanging on to his every word, hoping that one day he would realize that he was wrong to throw my love back in my face.
He looks pained. “Because I got engaged? Or because your boyfriend would likely swoop in and cart you away like you’re his property.”
He’s referring to the night in San Francisco, when Landon interrupted our date. I almost smile at the memory. Jack is waiting for me to reply, but before I can, there’s another knock on the door. It’s soon followed by one of the interns carrying a bouquet of purple lilies and yellow orchids in a beautiful glass globe.
“These were delivered for you,” she says, managing to simper at Jack while she places the flowers on my desk. Half the girls in the building are crazy about him, and obviously she’s one of them.
“I’m Meredith,” she tells him, starting to describe an article of his that she ‘really’ liked. He answers her politely, his lack of interest painfully obvious. He never dates any of the girls from Gilt. I was his one exception, and for a long time, I told myself it was because we had something special, now I couldn’t care less.
After Meredith finally leaves, Jack looks from the flowers to my face, his eyebrows raised questioningly.
I ignore him. My heart is already racing, and I know, without reading the card, who sent the flowers. Why would he do that? Especially after this morning? I don’t need any more reminders, any more reasons to cry. I suddenly wish the flowers would disappear, along with every torturous memory of Landon Court.
“Aren’t you going to see who they’re from?” Jack asks. There’s a tightness in his voice that wasn’t there before.
I’d rather not. I’d rather ignore them and pretend that I don’t care, but with Jack here, I can’t do that. My hand trembles as I reach for the card, pulling it out of the plastic stick to read the words in Landon’s hard, slanted handwriting.
Great Article.
That’s all it says. Nothing else. I remember his face from this morning. The flash of emotion when I told him once again that he can’t give me what I want.
Why do you keep pushing me away?
Slowly, I stroke a finger over the velvety surface of the card, overcome by an intense, painful yearning. You’ll regret walking away from him, a reproachful voice accuses in my head. You’ve made a huge mistake in letting him go.
“From Court?”
I blink at Jack, realizing that I’d almost forgotten that he was here. Hastily, I drop the card on my desk, ashamed of how easily I’d been affected by just flowers and a card. In the space of a few moments, I’d almost forgotten all the reasons why I walked away in the first place.
“Yes.” I clear my throat and give Jack a small half-smile. “They’re from Landon.”
“Getting serious?” His eyes are questioning.
No, actually it’s over. I don’t say that. Instead, I give him a tired look. “Are you going to warn me again? About how heartless he is with women, how I shouldn’t fall in love with him?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “I believe you’ll find out for yourself.”
