AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Guswas the important part. The nonnegotiable. Whether he realized that or not.
“Well, I’m working on it. I definitely never thought I’d be anyone’s husband.”
Something in his face went hard.
“What?”
“I never thought I’d be anyone’s husband, because I never hated anyone more than my dad. I never thought I’d be anyone’s dad for that same reason.”
“And now?”
“My job is to figure out how to be anything but him.”
“You’re not him. You know that.”
He looked at her, but she couldn’t dissect the expression, and he didn’t say anything to help her translate it.
“Cat rescuer. Read to your brothers...”
And his face got really shuttered then. “I’m glad that they remember that in a happy way. But... I’m just glad they have good memories.”
She wondered if Gus had any. What was good for him growing up. What had made him happy.
“What are your good memories?” she asked.
“It doesn’t matter.”
The picnic. That place.
His good memories were his mother. But he didn’t like to talk about it. He skirted around the edges of it. Talking about how he didn’t cook. Taking her to that place.
But he never went there. Not really. And this was part of her changing. Part of her growing. Pushing into the hard things. Because it was also part of them being...more.
“What was she like, Gus? Your mom.”
“Beaten down. Beaten down so hard she had to go. That’s it.”
“That’s all?”
“All that matters. Because in the end she left. She let Hunter blame himself. Hunter... Hunter really thought that it was him that sent her away. Because that little boy thought he had to tell his mama that she could go so that she’d be safe. And he carried that all those years. Hunter deserved better than that. But at the same time... I don’t think the blame lies at her doorstep. It’shis. I told you. I hate my father. Because he robbed us of everything that was any good in this world, including our mother.”
“She never read to you...? She never...?”
“Look. It’s just... It’s a closed subject. That’s all.”
“Why?”
“Because some shit should stay in the past. I mean, what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you have good memories with your parents?”
“Yeah. I do,” Alaina said. “And that’s what makes them disappointing me suck so much. That’s what makes not having them around so difficult. I did have good memories with them. I thought... I thought my dad and I had the special relationship. But then he went away. He went away and he...he doesn’t see me anymore. He hasn’t since I was twelve years old. And you know for a while you can let that shit go. You can excuse it. And you try. Because you love them still. That’s the messy part, isn’t it? That you still love them.”
“I don’t.”
“Your mother or your father?”
