Page 57 of The Rough Rider


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If he actually knew at all how to love. If maybe there was a fundamental break there, caused by the extreme conditions that came about living with his dad.

From losing his mom.

He really did wonder that. Often.

He could sleep with Alaina. Could let her warm his bed. Could enjoy her body. But it would never...it would never go beyond what they were now. It would just be them, but with sex. He didn’t want to do that to her.

And anyway, it would cause stress, and then it would make the whole situation feel difficult, and then, it would become next to impossible for them to be together, because she would be miserable, wanting more.

Or hell, maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe he was thinking too highly of himself. Just because she was looking at his chest. Didn’t mean she would ever fall in love.

But either way, it would introduce a complication that neither of them could afford.

They could do tacos. They could do this. And frankly, it was more than he’d ever had.

No matter that she seemed attracted now, it had only strengthened his resolve. He had to make sure they stayed on neutral ground. He had to make sure that this stayed... Well, for her and the baby. And not for him.

She was young. And she was inexperienced. She had just come off of a bad time with a guy who deserved to be drowned like the wretched alley cat that he was. He would never be part of hurting Alaina. That was the most important thing. That was what mattered to him.

And he would sacrifice everything, including his own desires, to make sure that happened.

SHECOULDN’TSLEEP.So she’d been unpacking boxes ever since she’d come up to bed. She felt hot and fractious and more than a little bit irritated by absolutely everything. But most of all, by the fact that she now knew Angus McCloud was sexy as sin, and she couldn’t forget it. And he had just sat down at the table with his tacos like he didn’t know he was hot.

How could henot know?

It seemed like he had to know. It seemed like he must be fully aware that he was built like the kind of mountain any woman would want to climb.

He was hot. He was just so hot. His body was... He was like a fantasy that she didn’t even know she’d had. And he had been emphatic about nothing happening between them.

And nothing will.

Well. That was the thing. Gus McCloud washers. Her rescuer. He was making this terrible situation right. And if she had ever needed another person, it was now. Desperately. And the mystery of sex had been solved for her. She wasn’t a virgin. She wasn’t an innocent. She knew how it went. She’d seen a penis. She’d done it. And it just hadn’t been all that great. What had he gotten her? Pregnant. That’s what it had gotten her. And she had no desire to repeat the experience again. The mystery was gone. And so, Gus might be hot, but she already knew that sex wasn’t worth destroying the kind of thing that they had.

He had said that he would just keep doing his thing. And she could keep doing hers. Maybe someday she would want to flirt again. Try again. In the meantime, she would be protected by him. Live here.

It had been good.

And that was what she had to remember. That this was what was real. And it was what mattered. The fact that he had plucked her out of the pond. The fact that he was here now.

And in the meantime she could look at his body. Because it was fun. So there. She didn’t need to be sleepless about it.

She was resolute. Determined. Decisive. Elsie didn’t know her. Or what she needed or wanted.

Well, okay, she did. Because they were friends. And Elsie did know her really well. But they just weren’t the same. Elsie and Hunter were in love. She and Gus had each other’s backs.

And maybe she needed to work on having his a little more. But that was how she would think of it.

She had Gus McCloud’s very, very broad back.

She abandoned the boxes and climbed into bed.

It was fine. Everything was fine.

She turned over onto her stomach and huffed. And then finally fell asleep.

WHENHETOLDHunter that they ought to come by for dinner that night, he realized a little bit late that he probably should have asked Alaina first. Because Hunter and Elsie became Hunter and Elsie and Tag and Nelly and Brody and Lachlan. And that was a full house.

And he felt a little bit chagrined when he found Alaina at lunchtime.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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