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Alaina grimaced at her own reflection in the rearview mirror. “That isn’t comforting.”
“It actually should be. Because it’s love, sweetheart. It’s high stakes because it’s love. Even if it isn’t perfect.”
And one thing Alaina knew right then was that perfection wasn’t a requirement. Because she might’ve had some anger at her mom, and it hadn’t gone away just because they’d had this conversation, but she did love her.
If she didn’t love her parents, the way things had ended up wouldn’t hurt. If she didn’t love them, it wouldn’t be complicated.
And so hopefully her kid would feel the same. Just love her. No matter what.
And maybe she would never be able to figure out all this with Gus. But he could be a good dad, and she could be a good mom...
Except for some reason that made her ache.
“I didn’t figure that Gus would be for you,” her mom said slowly. “Mostly just because he’s so much older. But looking back... You did always love him.”
The word sent an uncomfortable pang through Alaina’s midsection.
“Well, he...he was fun.” She fiddled with some change in her cup holder and tried not to fall right into the pit of irony of thinking of Gus asfunright now. “I mean in the sense that he would let me sit on his shoulders and things like that.”
“He always had a particular liking for you.”
And that made her feel even sadder, because she hoped that she and Gus wouldn’t lose their particular liking for each other over the course of all of this.
“He’ll be a good dad,” Alaina said.
“I’m relieved to hear you say that. Because you know his father...”
“I know. I do know. But believe me. He’s nothing like him.”
And when she ended the call with her mom, she comforted herself with that fact. Whatever happened between her and Gus, he would be good to the baby. Because he promised it. And he was a man who kept his promises. That she knew.
She could hang on to her anger. He deserved it. But she wasn’t in the mood to hang on to anger. Not tonight. She was going to make him dinner, regardless of all that. Because she wanted to. Because she wanted things to be better.
Is that just you not wanting to feel bad?
She shoved it aside. Because what did it matter? If the end result was that things were better, then what did any of that matter?
CHAPTER TEN
GUSSTOODINthe dark in the new tack room, and stared at nothing.
It had taken the last several hours for the rage in his blood to cool down.
When he’d seen those men with Alaina he’d lost it.
What was the matter with him?
That was the kind of shit Seamus McCloud would’ve pulled. A jealous rage in a parking lot. And no, he hadn’t touched her. He hadn’t touched them. But he’d been on edge.
Hell, he’d been on edge.
And what he’d said to her...
But in that moment, he’d imagined it. Her being with other men. Now that she was his wife. His wife.His.
The rage inside him had been primal.
He’d lashed out with words.
