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Not me, Cate thought wistfully. Now it was her turn to hesitate. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Mama,” she said.
Gillian’s eyes widened. “This is a safe space. Isn’t that what they say?” Her attempt at humor gave Cate the courage she needed for a hard conversation.
“I didn’t want a marriage like you and Daddy had. All the arguing, fighting, yelling. I hated it as a child, and I looked for the exact opposite as an adult. Jason is an even-keel kind of man. I knew he would always take my wishes into account, and he would never cheat on me.”
“So you picked him because he was safe.”
“Yes. And I won’t apologize for that.”
Gillian sighed. “Children don’t always see the heart of the matter. Your father and I are very different people, hence the fireworks. I’m sorry we weren’t better at keeping our conflicts away from you girls.”
“Did you ever consider divorcing him?”
“No. Not seriously. The truth is, Cate, as angry as I was at your father for dragging us away from Blossom Branch, it was ultimately good for our marriage. As long as we were in that small town, people would always have judged him for his past, the poverty, you know. And I was a mama’s girl, always running to your Grammy whenever I didn’t get my way. Coming to Atlanta gave us a fresh start. Your father and I are very much in love, Cate. And to be clear, good sex is a big part of our relationship.”
Cate stuck her fingers in her ears. “Ew, stop,” she said, laughing in spite of herself.
“You and Ishouldbe able to talk about hard things, Cate. I wish I had told you that sooner. We weren’t sure about you marrying so young, but you seemed very happy, so we didn’t intervene. Now you’ve had a terrible trauma, but you’ll come out the other side stronger and more resilient.”
Cate’s throat tightened. She hated this feeling of never having control. Grief overwhelmed her at the oddest moments, and without warning. How long would that last?
“It sucks,” she said, rubbing her sternum where the lump of pain grew. “I thought Jason was the one person in my life who would never, ever hurt me. But in the end, he did the most awful thing to me...”
“Have you thought about how he’s feeling, Cate? He does love you, which is the reason he finally found the courage to make the hard choice. He knew he couldn’t be the husband you deserved.”
“Everybody keeps defending him.”
“And that makes you angry...”
“Yes,” Cate said, feeling petty and mean but also righteously indignant. “It does.”
Gillian laughed. “So now you see there’s a downside to almost marrying a great guy. Everyone else loves him, too.”
Cate was willing to talk, but not about Jason. “I should go work on the presents,” she said.
“Forget the gifts,” Gillian said. “I have all the time in the world to deal with those. You concentrate on picking yourself up and finding some peace.”
“I did have an idea about that,” Cate said. Truthfully, the thought had only gelled in the last few hours. “I wonder if Grammy and Grandpa would let me come stay a few weeks.” While Cate was growing up, she had spent lots of time at her grandparents’ house. Even when she turned twelve and her father dragged them all to a new life in Atlanta, Cate had continued to spend her summers in Blossom Branch. Becca joined her occasionally, but Cate was the one who never wanted to leave.
Her mother beamed. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. It would do you good to get out of the city.”
“Was Becca planning to be there any time?”
“No. One of her friends has invited her to go on a two-week cruise with the girlfriend’s family. Besides, Becca was never as attached to Blossom Branch as you were. It makes sense, I guess. She was only five when we moved.”
“Just me, then. Will you call her and ask?”
Gillian frowned. “You can’t call your own grandmother?”
“I’m embarrassed,” Cate admitted. “I hate disappointing her.”
“I’ll call,” her mother said, “but you’re worrying about nothing.”
“Thanks. I hope you’re right.” Cate wandered back into the house and went to her bedroom. Until recently, she and Jason had been living together in his modest apartment. But a month before the wedding, they both decided she should move back home...to make their special day even more special. The last time she walked out of this space, she had been on her way to the church. The room was disheveled, as if the previous occupant had left in a hurry.
There was no hurry now.
Cate grabbed another suitcase from her closet and began filling it with shirts and shorts and sundresses, along with shoes and everything else she would need for a long visit with her grandparents.
