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Archer reaches for my face and rubs his thumb on my cheek, and I manage the courage to smile. “I’d like that very much.”
49
ARCHER
It’s evening.Kat lies in my arms, our limbs tangled, bodies wrapped around each other as we watch the sun go down.
The two days we spent together feel magical, and I can’t help but remember Droga’s words:She needs to know how you feel.
“Kat, I need to tell you something,” I say.
“Yeaaaah?” she purrs softly, her little paws stroking my bare chest, my skin humming at the touch.
“You are beautiful and amazing.”
I don’t smile as I say it, and she senses something else is coming. You can give her a sassy compliment, and she’ll swallow it. You give her a gentle one, and she hides away, like a turtle in its shell.
It’s so obvious now as she drops her gaze to my chest.
“Oh, no. I’ve seen that look before, when you pull away. Look at me, Kat.”
“What’s going on, Arch?” She’s avoiding my eyes.
“Kat, look at me.”
She looks up from under her eyebrows as if I’m playing a game.
“Bear with me for a minute, okay? I’m trying to tell you something.”
I’ve spent countless hours thinking about her and me. There are not enough thoughts to describe how she makes me feel and how she’s changed me in the last months without meaning to do so.
“I said before that you are important.”
“I’d better be.” She’s still playing.
“That was an understatement, Kat.”
“Okay.” She laughs but keeps glancing away, returning her gaze to me as if in suspicion.
I tip her chin with my forefinger so she can’t look away, her gaze shooting arrows through my heart that starts beating faster by the second.
“I’m in love with you, Kat.”
My heart slams in my chest. Kat’s smile fades. Her eyes widen as she loses the grip on how to project her confidence.
I’ve known this for a while. But it’s a different story to lay my heart out for her. I’ve said these words before to others, but it’s the first time I actually mean it.Feelit profoundly.
“You and I,” I say as Kat blinks, trying to arrange her face into an expression that won’t give away her vulnerability, “we don’t talk about feelings. We fuck them out. But you need to know this.”
I smile to ease the tension that makes my chest so tight it’s hard to breathe.
I know Kat well. She’ll need time to process it and accept it. It’s okay with me. For the first time, I’m not asking for anything back. I just want to give her the confidence of knowing that I’m in for whatever life throws our way, as long as she’s next to me.
“I want you to know that you always have me.” Looking into her eyes while I pour my heart out is weakening, like being on my knees. “Whatever you need, I’ll be there for you. No matter how cold you think I am or how arrogant I come across or selfish, you are the most important person in my life.”
I brush my thumb against her cheek, feeling her lean just a fraction of an inch into it, her lips parting. Her eyes don’t leave mine, but her breathing increases, and her chest heaves.
Words hit her fast and hard, like sex. And just like the first time, she’s trying to hide her reaction, retracting behind that armor she’s built, telling herself she’s a one-woman army and she doesn’t need a man by her side.
