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Without Lu and Pushkin, this place is a ghost town. I can handle hours of her absence, but the deadly silence without the huffing of the little pirate dude is a bad sign, making me feel like back in the day, in the group home, alone, without allies and not a single thing to latch on to for sanity.
Roey calls. I’m trying to make instant noodles, so I put him on speaker.
“We need to talk about our return to Cali and the estimated dates,” he says.
I don’t want to talk about Cali or go back. “What about it?”
“Are you coming?”
This is the conversation I dreaded. “I need to sort things out with Lu first. Maybe I can rent a place in New York and stay here for a bit.”
“Get on it, then,” Roey says surprisingly quickly.
“That’s slightly complicated.”
Mostly because if my conversation with her goes sideways, there might be no reason for me to stay in New York.
I always listen to Roey. He might not have good life advice when it comes to women, considering how many one-night stands are under his belt, but he gets me, always did, during the service, after,especiallyafter. If it weren’t for him, I’d have been stuck in the war loop for much longer.
“We might have intel on Reznik,” he says, and as if he senses that I’m not in work mood, adds, “but you obviously can’t think about work right now. Not until you sort out your personal stuff. Suck it up and get on it.”
I burn my finger on a hot pot and hiss.
“Listen, Jace,” Roey continues. “You’re not like me, thank god. But you’re sleeping on this one. You’re lucky to have met Lu.” I know it. “And you need to push harder.”
“I don’t need to push, Roey. That’s not how it works.”
The pot boils over, and I slide it to the side, irritated at everything going wrong today.
“If Lu is the one, she needs to know about what you do. Stop being someone else.”
“Youmademe someone else the night I shot her,” I argue. “First, you said we can’t tell her anything. Now, you want me to tell hereverything.”
“I want to see you happy, Jace. Finally, I want to see you with a girl who makes the famous Shooter all starry-eyed.”
“That’s the problem. She might not be so hot for me when she learns what I used to be or what I do.”
“You’re just scared. And you’re wrong. You’re rooming with the hottest chick you’ve met, who you can’t shut up about, and she thinks you are a lousy salesman. You need to break her in. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”
“I’ll tell her things, but not now and at my own pace.”
“Things?” he chuckles. “Which part are you gonna tell her first? Let me guess. That you hate grits but eat them every day because she makes them for you and you don’t want to see her sad if you refuse?”
“Whatever.”
“No? Oh, so you are going to confess that you served in a war zone and were a rank-A prodigy shooter with the best sniper record in your division in four years? Or that you are a bounty hunter and not a fucking salesman?”
He’s so right, but it sounds so bad when it comes out of his mouth that I don’t want to tell Lu anything at all.
“Or!” He pauses for emphasis, and I know what’s coming. “That you are twenty-four and a fucking virgin? You might actually get away withnottelling her that.”
Blood starts boiling in my veins.
“Fuck off, Torres. Thanks for the pep talk, man.”
“You need to find your balls, Jace.”
“Yeah,” I snap. “Gonna go look for them. I’ll call you for personal advice again. I’m sure it’ll be life-changing.”
