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“I like your glasses, Jace,” she drawls.
Maybe, this outing was a mistake.
Slowly, as if putting on a show, Becky takes them off and winks at me. Soon, my fake glasses will be public knowledge. And because the beer is making me careless, I put them in my back pocket, not a bit worried that they might crack.
Fuck those things.
Yep, I’m getting tipsy.
Becky smiles knowingly into her Martini.
Lu steals flirty glances at me.
And Tito openly stares at me with his fuck-me eyes.
I need to stop drinking. It makes me bold, and Lu being so close is my personal inferno.
One of her spicy stories comes to mind, and in a second, there’s no stopping my thoughts that flicker in fast succession—a dark corner, her coral lips, my tongue, her slender legs, my hands, her thighs…
“Dreaming?” Tito’s voice snaps my gaze away from studying Lu’s hands.
He has no idea. Neither does Lu.
Maybe Becky. That girl is a human lie detector, though she keeps a lot of things to herself. I’m sure she uses them against people. Maybe I’m just too wary. She really does remind me of Monica.
Fucking Monica…
My experience with Monica was what put me off about the dating game.
There are always firsts.
We never remember our first steps or words. Wedosometimes remember our first day at school, the first big party, or our first friend. But wealwaysremember our first big humiliation. Especially when it’s public. When you are seventeen. When it’s with the girl you are in love with. When she makes you feel special and offers that “first time,” and you can barely contain the excitement when you are making out with her in an empty school gym. It should click in your head that it’s not the best place for your “first time,” though a group home doesn’t have many romantic options. But hormones don’t rationalize. Not even when she asks you to lose all your clothes while she’s still dressed.
Hell, her hands on you are the best feeling ever. She’s the only person who touched youthere.
And then comes her laughter, devilish and not so friendly anymore, followed by the outside noises, footsteps, then muffled laughter in the room where it was supposed to be just the two of you.
You finally notice faces in the windows and cellphones clicking pictures while she picks up your clothes and runs off. And there’s no way to cover your naked body or fight the humiliation and horror when you realize that dozens of people are filming you, and the girl of your dreams is gone.
Sometimes, being seventeen sucks.
Occasionally, it’s the first time you die on the inside.
19
LU
Where did he just go?
I was studying Jace’s smile that makes him so handsome when it faded, giving way to a haunted look in his eyes.
He stares at his beer in silence.
I can’t stop stealing glances at him. His sleeves are pushed up, the sweater tightly hugging his muscles. And, oh, does he have a nice body. Without glasses, he’s hot in a subtle way that makes my eyes latch onto him, trying to figure out what hides under that calm surface.
It’s always the quiet ones…
Becky’s words make so much sense. She’s experienced, and I’m not. Well, not really. Not by a mile.
