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“What are you talking about?”
“About you finally meeting a girl you might give longer than a two-week chance. And so will your dick.”
“She’s an assignment, right?” I probe him, though I hate that word.
“Don’t be coy with me. I was hoping you’d keep your head cool around her. Obviously, it’s not working. You’re fucking falling like a heavy rock off a cliff. So, there are two ways to do this. You toughen up and finish what we started and we’re out. Or—”
I hold my breath because Roey is the only person in my life who I trust to give me an advice.
“Or you figure out if the girl feels the same way about you as you do about her. For that, you need to make a move.”
I will. As soon as I get back.
I’m not in denial about what’s happening to me, just trying to curb my feelings. For the first time in my life, I feel like a happy puppy off the leash, and there’s a wide field in front of me instead of a kennel, and as I take the first leap, I’m anticipating the run, and I dash toward the open space, and she… she is the whole open world in front of me I want to get lost in.
Lu, you are my goddamn universe.
I’d give up California for her. For the first time, I want to anchor. And my heart already did. In apartment 1101 at Goldsling Towers, Brooklyn, New York, with wonderful Lu who makes amazing art, writes spicy stories, and adopted a one-eyed pit bull.
29
JACE
Lu: What time are you coming back tonight?
Me: Late afternoon.
Lu responds with a celebration emoji,and my heart sings, threatening to break out of my ribcage and jump out of the plane onto the JFK airport landing strip.
The first thing we do when we get back to the city is drop our equipment at the Sheepshead Bay apartment.
Roey orders takeout. There are three things he loves the most: women, food, and danger. Not necessarily in that order.
Today, it’spel’meni, Russian dumplings, though I was hoping to have lunch with Lu.
Miller gives a brief report on Reznik from the surveillance team.
Roey twists his fork between his fingers like he used to do with a knife back in the day. And he’s having a rum and coke, way too early, which means he’s about to slide into another binge.
I see all the signs. I spent plenty of time with Roey, and I feel bad leaving him on his own when he might need moral support though he hates anyone around when he goes into relapse.
But I can’t bear another hour without Lu.
Every message from her makes my heart thud with the sound of a gong.
Lu: We are having a party at the condo tonight. A lot of people. It’s the first week of summer. Hurry up!
Shit.I was hoping for some alone time with Lu.
Lu: Does Roey want to come?
“Not my scene,” Roey says when I pass the invite from Lu. “Youget drunk and get into action.”
“What action?”
“Several weeks ago, I’d say, try to get the intel. Now, you should get your personal game going.”
I hate when he talks like this. Even more so the possibility of telling Lu what I do for a living and how we met her. Deep down, I think it’ll ruin things, and I want just a little more time with her.
