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‘You’re right. I’m so sorry. How were we on the fertility score?’
‘That’s a disappointing eight, I’m afraid.’ I try to arrange my face into an expression of regret, but I’m not really succeeding. ‘He didn’t mention the baby until the third sentence.’
‘Ah, well, better luck next time,’ she sympathises. ‘Are you sure you want this promotion? Who am I going to play the game with when you’re gone?’
‘I haven’t got it yet, remember? And, even if Lee knocks their socks off tomorrow, it’ll still be ages before they announce who’s got the contract, so I’m not going anywhere for a while. Plus, assuming all of that comes off and I get the position, I’m still going to be in the same office as you.’
‘You won’t be, though. You might drop in occasionally, but you’ll be on the road, schmoozing clients and having lavish dinners on expenses.’
‘Fair point, but I think you overestimate the glamour,’ I laugh. ‘It’ll mainly be dinners for one in various Holiday Inns.’
‘Well,’ she replies, expertly flicking her used teabag into the bin, ‘good luck anyway. I’m rooting for you, even if I will miss you. Let’s hope they replace you with someone interesting who’ll keep me entertained. Otherwise, I’ll have to resort to wearing low-cut tops and breaking my computer just to torment the IT guy.’
‘You wouldn’t! That’s so cruel.’
‘Of course I wouldn’t,’ she laughs. ‘What do you take me for?’
I’m ashamed to admit that I only learned that the IT guy is actually called Ian a few months ago. He’s always just been ‘the IT guy’. He’s good at what he does, there’s no doubt about that but, if his lack of social chit-chat is anything to go by, he’s generally happier talking to machines than he is to people. Until recently, he also had a frankly creepy habit of staring at women’s chests whenever he thought he could get away with it. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t very subtle about it and someone made a complaint around six months ago. Rumour has it he got a verbal warning from HR and, ever since then, he makes such a point of looking into your eyes when he’s speaking to you that it’s possibly even more creepy than having him stare at your chest; you’d almost wish he went back to his old ways. Ruth is, to put it tactfully, generously proportioned in the chest department, so a low-cut top on her would probably be more temptation than poor Ian could bear.
I take my cup of tea back to my desk and spend the last hour or so of the working day replying to emails and making sure all the documentation I’ve prepared for the NHS trust project, including my beautiful project plan, is uploaded to the relevant internal SharePoint sites. I’m full of nervous energy; even though I won’t be in the final pitch meeting tomorrow and there’s nothing more I can do, I can’t seem to sit still. The next month is going to be agonising.
‘I know it’s only a Thursday, but do you fancy a drink before going home?’ Ruth asks, as I’m packing up at five-thirty. Our office is in one of those redeveloped commercial areas, with herringbone-patterned brick walkways and lots of trendy bars and restaurants catering to the office crowds. There’s a fancy cocktail bar just around the corner, and a group of us often head that way after work on a Friday. Jonathan used to be one of the ringleaders until his son was born, but now he just paints on an expression that’s a weird mixture of smugness and disapproval when we invite him, and makes some excuse about priorities changing when you have a family. The way he talks, you’d have thought nobody else in the office had ever had a baby.
‘I think that’s a genius idea,’ I reply. ‘Are we inviting anyone else, or is it just going to be the two of us?’
‘Jonathan won’t come, obviously, and the others have left already, so I think it’s just you and me. Will you be able to cope, do you think? I know I’m awfully dull, but I’ll make a special effort, I promise.’
‘Oh, do shut up!’ I laugh. ‘It’s a work night, so I’ll only have one, though.’
‘Of course you will. There’s no chance whatsoever that you’ll end up having “just one more” about three times and falling into an Uber,’ Ruth giggles as we make our way outside.
She may have me bang to rights, but I’m determined to stick to one cocktail tonight. It doesn’t matter if you over-indulge on a Friday, because you’ve got the whole weekend to get over it. But I’ve got to be on the ball tomorrow in case I’m called upon to talk Lee through any of the finer points of the plan before he goes into the meeting.
The bar is much quieter than I’m used to, and we have no problem getting one of the booths that are normally rammed full on a Friday night. There’s also none of the usual jostling for attention to get served at the bar; we’re encouraged to take our seats and a barman comes over to take our order, which is a novelty.
‘So, there is a bit of a hidden agenda to our Thursday night drinks. I have news!’ Ruth trills, grinning widely as soon as the barman has set down our porn star martinis.
‘Oh, yes?’
‘Wade’s asked me to move in with him.’
‘Oh, wow! That’s a big step for him. What did you say?’
‘I said yes, dummy! What did you think I was going to say?’
‘Hey, look. No judgement from me, but you’ve always said you wouldn’t move in until he’d given you a ring.’
‘Yeah, well, he doesn’t seem to have got that memo, despite some pretty heavy bloody hints from me, so I’ve decided to compromise. It’s still a big step forward in terms of commitment and, if I’m living with him, I’ll have more opportunities to nudge him in the right direction, don’t you think?’
‘I can see the logic. When is this going to happen?’
‘I have to give my current landlord notice, so not for a couple of months officially, but I’ll probably move most of my stuff over in the next week or two. I don’t want to give him the chance to change his mind.’
‘I’m delighted for you. I hope you’ll be very happy together.’
‘Thank you. Anyway, enough about me. What about you? Anything happening on the dating front?’
‘No,’ I tell her, with a smile. ‘When I have Jonathan as a role model, somehow nobody else measures up, do you know what I mean? He’s so fertile, I have to be careful not to pass him too closely on the stairs in case I accidentally get pregnant.’
