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‘Duh!’ he grins. ‘That’s the point. As soon as the trust saw the figures, I knew Harmony had it in the bag.’
‘What did Roger say? Surely you had to run your deck and everything past him?’
‘Roger may be my boss, but he doesn’t really show much interest in the nitty gritty. Wow him with some pretty slides and he doesn’t notice the numbers.’
‘You’ll be found out. They’re going through your laptop, Lee. They’ll see that you changed the figures even when I told you not to. They’ll realise what you did and come after you.’
‘They won’t, because I deleted that sentence from your email.’
‘For God’s sake, you idiot! They’ll see the original in my sent items and know you’ve doctored it!’
My frustration only makes him more pleased with himself. ‘Only if they know what they’re looking for, and they don’t. It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack and, even if they did find it, what are they going to do? A doctored email isn’t proof of anything.’
‘And did you, at any point, think that what you were doing might impact me?’
‘Why would it? Look, I’m really sorry about your job. I never intended that to happen, of course I didn’t. But you’ll get another one, and it’ll probably be better.’
I really am struggling not to punch him.
‘One more question. If you’d have known that what you were doing was going to cost me my job, would you have done anything differently?’
‘I don’t know.’ He appears to consider for a while as he finishes his starter and starts to help himself to mine. ‘Probably not. Look, I was just doing what was right, career-wise, for me. I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire, but it was Orchestra that made you redundant, not me. And, if I’m honest, I’m not sure I’d have landed the deal even if I had put my all into it, and then we’d both potentially be out of work, so I think it’s probably turned out the best it could do. Anyway, I feel so much better now that you know everything. You do understand why I had to do it this way, right?’
I raise my eyes to meet his gaze. Physically, every contour of him is familiar. He looks like the Lee I’ve loved for the last five years. But under the skin, I realise I have no idea who he is at all.
‘Of course,’ I tell him.
‘Great,’ he replies. ‘I knew you’d get it when I explained. And I meant what I said about putting in a good word for you at Harmony if you change your mind. Right, I’m just going to pop to the gents’ before our main courses arrive, OK?’
I watch his retreating back and wait until he’s completely out of sight before lifting my phone and turning off the voice recorder.
11
I’ve now been officially unemployed for three weeks, there isn’t even the vaguest sniff of a new job, and I’m getting worryingly addicted toHomes Under the Hammeras well as a couple of daytime TV dramas. Lee’s induction course has finished and he’s working from home this week putting together a proposal for another NHS trust, so I’ve conveniently arranged a trip to stay with my parents. It’s a beautiful day and I should be relishing the warmth of the sun streaming through the train window, but I’m feeling morose. I shouldn’t be on this train in my jeans in the middle of the working day, escaping from a boyfriend whose job satisfaction I can’t help resenting. I should be in an office, doing what I do best. A week at home is hopefully going to give me some perspective, because I know I have decisions to make, and I can’t make them with all the trappings of my old life around me.
I haven’t done anything with the recording. My first instinct was to send it straight to Sharon, the head of HR at Orchestra, but I realised I ought to listen to it first to make sure it wasn’t just a confused mumble over the clanging of cutlery. In the end, I didn’t get a chance to listen to it until the Monday, after Lee had left for work. It was all there and the sound was crystal clear but, although it still made me incredibly cross, I wasn’t so sure about sending it. It sounds silly but, at the moment, I’m the innocent party in all of this. If I send the recording, which will undoubtedly make things very difficult for Lee, it kind of means I’ve sunk to his level, and I’m not sure I want to be that person. I very nearly deleted it a couple of times during the last fortnight, but it’s still there as a kind of insurance policy if I need it.
I truly don’t know what to do about Lee. I don’t know if I should try to put his behaviour behind me, or even if I want to. Now that he’s got his confession off his chest, he’s settled back into something closer to the Lee I love, but my opinion of him has definitely taken a serious nosedive. I’ve got to do my bit to keep our relationship going for now because, whether I like it or not, I’m dependent on him for the time being. There’s no way that I’d be able to rent another flat without a job and, although I’m sure Mum and Dad would let me move home and Ava would probably put me up as well, I feel I need to be in Leeds while I’m job hunting, not out in the sticks. Now that I’m not working, our flat suddenly feels like a massive drain on my finances, but there’s no way Lee’s going to want to downsize, and the least I can do is leave him the home he loves if I do end up moving out. I don’t know whether he could actually afford to live there on his own, but that really isn’t my problem. He should be able to, because the rental agreement is in his name and the agents must have done credit checks. When we moved in, he said it would be easier if the paperwork was in just one of our names because it would be simpler to unravel if things didn’t work out. I don’t think, in his arrogance, he ever imagined ‘things not working out’ would involve me leaving him, but I’m grateful to have my options open, that’s for sure.
‘Hello, sweet pea. How are you holding up?’ Dad drew the short straw of collecting me from the station today, and he squeezes me into a tight hug. I breathe in the smell of Pears’ soap and fabric conditioner that is the hallmark scent of him.
‘I’d be better if there was even the faintest sign of a new job,’ I tell him honestly as we detach. ‘It’s starting to get me down.’
‘It’s only been a couple of weeks, love. You’ll find something, I know you will. Here, let me take your bag.’
Dad’s car is even older than Ava’s, but where hers is definitely suffering from her total lack of care, his is immaculate. He keeps it in a garage a couple of streets away that he rents from the council, and it’s washed, polished and vacuumed every Sunday, regardless of whether it needs it or not. The interior smells of pine air freshener and there are always two tins of travel sweets in the glovebox, to make sure they never run out. He’s also a very careful driver, never exceeding the speed limit and creeping over speed bumps to ensure he doesn’t accidentally scrape the bottom of the car. If you were planning a bank job and had to choose a getaway driver from our family, Dad would definitely not be it. Ava? Yes, she’d probably be pretty good. Although I’m perfectly able, I haven’t driven for years, so I’d probably be closer to Dad than her. Mum used to have a little red hatchback that she zipped about in when she was working, but she sold it when she retired and I think she’s quite happy to let Dad do all the driving now.
‘Your sister is at work, but her shift finishes at lunchtime, so I think she’s expecting you to pop in this afternoon,’ Dad tells me as he pulls up outside the house. ‘Your mother’s waiting for you. Just bang on the door and she’ll let you in. I’m going to put the car away.’
I get another big hug from Mum, who then holds me by the shoulders at arms’ length so she can appraise me. ‘Are you getting enough sleep? You look tired,’ she observes.
‘I’m fine, Mum. I’m just lacking a sense of purpose at the moment, that’s all. I spend all day either searching online for jobs or wandering about, feeling useless. You don’t realise how much you’re defined by your work until you don’t have it any more.’
‘Are you still only looking for jobs in Leeds?’
‘No. I’ve widened my search to include Manchester and Sheffield, and I even applied for a job in Liverpool, but I haven’t heard back from them.’
‘Goodness, what would Lee do if you had to move to Liverpool?’
