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Right now, it felt more important than just about anything else in his life.
“You’re not stupid. You’re not dumb.”
Her pulse was getting quicker. Her face was getting paler.
“I feel funny. I think I’m going to die.”
Rainer took her hand in his. “Sweetheart, listen to me, you’re not going to die. You’re panicking. It’s normal to panic. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“No-one would care if I died.”
He rubbed her hand. “They would. Listen. Let’s do yoga.”
She snorted out a laugh.
“Not with our bodies. Just… do the breathing part. In and out. In and out.”
He was so out of his depth — trying desperately to help Esme get through a panic attack by pretending to know a damn thing about yoga. But, somehow, she listened to him.
He watched as she breathed in and out, slowly. He watched as color returned to her cheeks.
“That’s it, Little one,” he said. “You can do this.”
Then, an idea popped into his head. He got his phone out. “What’s your favorite story?”
“My favorite what?”
“Story. I’m gonna read it to you.”
She thought for a moment. “James and the Giant Peach. It was mine and my sister’s favorite when we were kids.”
Quick as a flash, Rainer bought and downloaded the eBook. “Right, keep holding my hand and listen.”
He started to read, and as he saw her face relax, he made a decision.
CHAPTER FOUR
Noonehadeverstayed with Rainer before. It took some getting used to.
For the first couple of days, Esme stayed in bed like she was told. She wasn’t too happy about it, though.
“I hate bed,” became her catchphrase. She’d say it while he was bringing her dinner, she’d say it while he was helping her choose programs to watch on Netflix, she said it when he tucked her in at night.
Although she could be a little bratty at times, he loved spending time with her. Besides the fact that he could have stared into her eyes all day long if she’d let him, he found her a pleasure to talk to.
He learned about yoga — apparently, he’d been on the right track with the breathing stuff — and he learned about tarot — definitelynotthe same as astrology.
He also learned that Esme’s life had been on a downward trajectory for a while. A lost job, diminishing earnings, and — by the sounds of it — a problem with taking control of just about anything. He’d decided to help her out with this month’s rent.
“You can’t!” she’s protested. “It’s not right that you should have to suffer because of how much of a shitty person I am.”
“Think of it as a loan,” he’d replied. “You’ll pay me back when you can.”
“In 2045?”
“I can wait,” he chuckled.
It had been a while since he’d spent much time with anyone who wasn’t completely obsessed with bikes, and it was a welcome change. It also took his mind off the messages that kept buzzing on his phone.
