AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Trouble is, today shereallyneeded to make that money.
Her rent deadline for the month was fast approaching, and if she didn’t make the hundred bucks, she had no idea what she was going to do.
“Okay, Freya, my witchy friend,” she said. “Here’s how I see things. We’ve got the—” but before Esme could finish her sentence, the doorbell sounded. “God damn, Freya, hold tight. Chat, I’ll be right back.”
But she wouldn’t.
“Esme!” standing at her open door was Sophia Ragusa. She was one of Esme’s closest friends, and like her, she was a Little. “I’m soooo excited!”
They’d met at an event for the Drifters Motorcycle Club, a society of Daddy Doms who also happened to be extremely intimidating-looking, leather-clad, outlaw bikers. If you hadn’t seen them for yourselves, you’d hardly believe it. But honestly, something about the dichotomy between hard-as-nails bikers and super-protective Daddies justworked. The guys were cool as heck.
Esme had first connected with the Drifters when Marcus — the ex-president of the club — had booked her to give his Little, Tati, a tarot reading. Tati and Esme had hit it off, and before long, Esmeralda was spending more and more time in the company of some very gruff, very serious bikers.
Sadly, Marcus had recently passed away — murdered by Sophia’s father. It was a messy, sad story, and Tati was still recovering from the loss.
Sophia was holding an old-looking, brown, teddy bear. She was a stuffie-restorer by trade and was never seen without one of her vintage soft toys.
“Sophia?” Esme asked, a little confused. She’d normally have been happy to see her friend, but she was right in the middle of her stream. Freya was still waiting for her reading. “Everything alright?”
It was Sohpia’s turn to look confused. “I think so. I’m… here for my reading?”
The realization hit Esme like a truck. She’d completely forgotten. Sophia was getting married in a month, and today was the day she was getting a reading to help her think about the future.
Esme had completely forgotten.
She thought back to the moment on the mat when she’d fallen down. Out of balance. Everything was totally out of balance.
“Right! Of course! I knew that, of course. I just meant…” She quickly did up the buttons on her vest top. Suddenly, it didn’t feel so good to be revealing as much skin as she was. “I meant, are you good to go now? ’Cause I totally am!” Her voice was about as convincing as vegan cheese.
“I’m good to go,” Sophia said, “If you still are? If it’s a bad time I can—”
“No, no, no, now’s the perfect time!”
The perfect time for my life to fall apart.
She smiled as best as she could, but like everything else, it was unconvincing.
What was the point in fighting against who she was? A fuck-up. There was nothing she could do to change herself. She’d always be useless.
Life is all pre-determined. We’re trapped by the people we are.
There was no way that Esme could have remembered her appointment with Sophia.
There was no way Esme could have made the money for the rent this month.
There was no way for her to be anything other than Esme.
Forgetful. Weak. Destined for failure.
Esme wasn’t in control of her own life. In fact, she wasn’t in control of anything. It wasn’t even her fault that she’d failed to do theshirshasanaearlier. It was fate. All of it.
The reading with Sophia went about as well as could be expected. It was obvious that Esme’s heart wasn’t in it, but she did her best to seem engaged and insightful, nonetheless. The state of Esme’s apartment was shameful — she had to sweep a bunch of old rubbish from the dining room table to make room for the reading — but Sophia was kind enough not to mention it.
“Will I be happy after I get married to Wolf?”
It was a simple question, and was answered by The Empress, The Hierophant and — again — The Ace of Cups. All positive cards. Sophia was delighted to hear that it was going to be a time of growth and blossoming love for her. Esme was happy for her, too, but she couldn’t shake the negative feelings that sat on her heart like a fat toad.
As she left, Sophia fixed Esme with a serious look. “Girl,” she said, squeezing her friend’s hand. “Is everything okay with you? Like, really okay?”
