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“Daddy?”
He smiled. “Feeling better?”
“Chuck, I…”
“Don’t worry, Millie. I know.”
“What do you know?”
“I know how embarrassed you are. And I know you’re afraid of what I’m going to say.”
“Ch-Chuck…” He was, of course, completely right.
“You don’t need to say anything.”
“Th-this is the worst I’ve ever felt.”
He nodded. “Almost like your body’s telling you that it would be a good idea not to do something like this again?”
She tried a smile, but it made her forehead pound. “I think my days of drinking are through, Daddy.”
“You know… you almost died.”
“Died?”
He explained it all to her. The choking, the near-poisoning. She told him, over and over again, that she hadn’t been trying to hurt herself. She just wanted to stopfeeling.
“I thought I was past all this,” she said. “It’s just… my dad, he makes me feel stuff I can’t run away from. I never want to see him again.”
Chuck sighed. “Well, Mill, I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
“Why not?” She felt like crying.
“We have to face up to our fears,” he said. “It’s the only way we can grow.”
Poor Chuck. He’d lost his mother to alcohol, and he’d almost lost her, too. She’d made him face up to his most dreaded fear. And now, she knew, she had to face hers.
She sighed. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll do it. But… can I rest for five minutes first?”
Chuck smiled, leaned in, and kissed her forehead.
“You’ve been on a voyage today, right to the edge of something dark and terrible. I think that’s earned you the right for five minutes’ rest.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, and by the way, don’t think you’re not going to get punished for this.”
Millie’s heart pounded. There was something to look forward to, at least.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Feelthefearthendo it anyway.
It was like a mantra. Millie repeated it to herself over and over as she prepared herself to meet her father. She’d never stood up to him. Not really. She’d always either done what he said or run away in the other direction as fast as her legs could carry her.
Not today, though.
“Feel the fear… then do it anyway.”
