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I shove the emotions threatening to rise inside me down deep, blinking back tears. “We should get back to our rooms.”
SIXTEEN
—
K A Z
“Thank you both for coming,”I say as I rise from the chair behind my desk and motion Eric, the head gardener and the head chef into seats on the other side. Eric and Kay exchange a half-curious, half-frightened look, but then Eric closes my office door behind them and they move toward the desk. “Have a seat.”
“We’ll stand, sir,” Kay says quietly, her hands folded behind her back and her gaze never quite meeting mine.
“Nonsense.” I smile when Eric finally looks at me. “Please, sit. Neither of you are in any trouble. In fact, I have a favor to ask of you. I’d rather you be comfortable during the conversation, because that’s all it is, a conversation.”
Eric blinks back his surprise, but he nods and moves around the chair to sit down. Kay glances at him from the corner of her eye. Her curiosity must get the best of her because a few seconds later, she takes the chair beside his.
“Wonderful.” I lower myself back into my leather, ergonomic monstrosity and fold my hands on my desk, intent on not coming across as demanding or condescending. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”
“Of course, sir,” Eric says easily, but I’ve spent more time talking to him while I’ve been out in the gardens than I’ve spent speaking to Kay in the kitchens. “How can we help?”
“Well, I was wondering if either of you have any openings on your staff at the moment. Anything at all.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” Kay says, risking a glance at me. “I hired a new sous chef just last month so we’d be ready for the Trials. The queen approved him herself. I—”
“It’s all right,” I interrupt gently. “You’ve had your hands full with the influx of guests in the palace. I’m not surprised the queen ensured the kitchens were fully staffed. We needed all hands on deck. It’s not a problem. Really. I just had to take a chance.”
“Of course, sir,” she replies, but she still appears to be on the verge of tears.
“You’ve been doing a wonderful job keeping everyone fed, Kay. I have it on good authority that all the Omegas are worried about gaining weight as they just can’t get enough of your food.”
She glances up at me again, a beaming grin appearing on her lips when she sees the sincerity in my eyes. “Thank you, sir. If I may, you’ve a much softer look about you these days. I hope one of the Omegas is responsible for putting it there.”
Fuck. I scowl before catching myself and smoothing my expression over again. She’s not wrong. One of the Omegasdidput it there, but it’s the one I can’t have. And the one I’m doing this for, which is why I pretend everything is just fine as I turn to Eric.
“How about you? I know you recently lost your assistant. Have you managed to find a replacement? Any other openings?”
The man regards me for a moment before he nods slowly. “As it happens, I do still need a new assistant. The few I’ve interviewed wouldn’t suit the position.”
“Excellent.”What a fucking relief.“I’ll take care of the paperwork myself. No need to run this up the official chain of command. Your new assistant’s name is Simon, and he’ll be here within the next few days. He’s got experience as a gardener, and I’m sure he’s up to the task.”
I’m not really, but I’m hoping he is. I desperately want him to be. Either way, Eric seems satisfied, if not curious, about where this is coming from, but he doesn’t ask. I don’t usually get involved in staffing decisions. I’ve never been directly responsible for appointing someone without so much as an interview, but I made a promise and I’m keeping it.
As he nods and stands up, he takes another look at me and inclines his head toward Kay. “She’s right, you know. Something seems different about you. Whatever is responsible for it, I hope you can keep it close. It’s nice to see you happy.”
The chef about squeaks when Eric addresses me so casually that I stifle a smirk.
Frankly, I’ve never had anyone but Wolf or Tai comment on my facial expressions or express an interest in my happiness. I’ve no clue what to make of it, so I smile and nod. That’s what I’ve been trained to do when confronted with uncomfortable remarks. It works, with both of them suddenly much more relaxed as they say their goodbyes and leave my office.
Once they’re gone, I collapse back in my chair and groan out loud. I must really be lookingsoftif it’s so obvious that members of our staff are not only noticing it, but commenting on it already. I thought I was putting on a better front than that, but Maddie and I have been texting whenever she has an update for me, and we’ve spent a bit more time together.
It would be a blatant lie to say she hasn’t taken up residence in my head or that I don’t enjoy the time I spend with her more than my time with any of the other Omegas. There are a few pleasant ones left, but none affect me the way she does.
She has a true love of reading, and we spent the entire hour of our last date discussing our favorite books, arguing about each other’s choices and the pros and cons of the current trends in the literary market. It was the most exhilarating conversation I’ve ever had about my favorite hobby. Even though absolutely nothing of importance was said, it was the most fun I’ve had with anyone outside my pack in a long time.
And I can’t have her, which is infuriating.
Meanwhile, Wolf and Tai haven’t given up. They’re respecting my wishes and the deal I made with her, but I see the way they look at her. They both want her just as much as I do.
Yet, what I’m doing right now is the best I can do for her. Now that the job has been taken care of, it’s a matter of arranging for living quarters. Picking up my phone, I put in a call to facilities management.
