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I know. There’s a terrible ache in my stomach, too, but it’s only because of who we were talking about.“I’m fine. It’s nothing, really. I’ve been having heat symptoms recently, but I’m handling it.”
Her frown deepens when I fan myself in a futile attempt to make my cheeks return to a color that’s slightly less…overripe tomato.
“Have you been taking your suppressant?”
“Yes,” I say honestly. “I’ve increased my dosage, but I think the ones I have are duds or something. I checked the expiry date, and they’re supposed to be fine.”
Concern tightens her features as she looks at me. “Promise me you’ll go see a doctor if it gets any worse?”
“I promise,” I say, even though I know I likely won’t. The doctor could make a recommendation for my disqualification and I can’t…I don’t want to leave. Not just yet.
Yua sighs, but then she suddenly stands up straighter and an excited curiosity sparks in those reddish eyes. “There is another possibility for what’s causing it.”
“What’s that?”
“Sometimes, your body justknows,” she says vaguely. “Heads can be such silly things at times, but bodies? They don’t lie, especially not when they find their match. Meds be damned. When your body knows, it knows.”
“I, uh, I don’t think it’s that.”
“Well, again, I wouldn’t be so sure. If my son wasn’t one of the Alphas in question, I’d have asked how they were taking it, but since he is, I’ll tell you that we don’t want any accidents to happen. It’s safe enough to double your dose in the short term. Until the trials are over. Try that, and if it still doesn’t work, go to a doctor.”
“Yeah, maybe I will.” As we approach the palace, I wonder if Antonio is in his chambers. He offered me some of his suppressants. If I’m going to double my dose, then I will definitely need to supplement my stash at some point.
TWENTY-ONE
—
T A I
“Canyou believe this is our last one-on-one date?” I ask as Maddie and I stroll toward the archery field.
Her scent is stronger today, but the notes of pink pepper and patchouli that I’ve come to adore are there, settling me and making me want to do things to her all at the same time. I’ve grown used to controlling my urges around her, but it’s not fucking easy.
At times, it’s almost overwhelming how much I want to make her mine. When she smiles before lowering her head to rest it on my shoulder as we walk, it’s one of those times. “It’s crazy how fast time has flown by. In some ways, I feel like I’ve been here with you for years, and in others, it feels like this journey started only yesterday.”
“I know what you mean,” I muse.
She glances at me without lifting her head off my shoulder, her hands warmly gripping my arm. “Hey, speaking of the start of this journey, can I ask you something?”
“Anything. I thought we’d established that.”
A faint flush rises from her neck to her jaw. “I, um. Yes, we have, but this is kind of embarrassing for me. I wanted to ask you that first day, but then we got sidetracked and eventually, I was just too humiliated to ask.”
“Go ahead,” I say as curiosity rages through me. “What do you possibly have to be embarrassed about?”
“My scent,” she blurts out after pausing for a moment. Then her entire face turns bright red, and she stops walking.
Since we’re far enough away from the palace and a decent portion of the forest separates us from it, I move in front of her. My arms automatically encircle her waist as my eyebrows rise. “You’re embarrassed about your scent?”
“Well, not my scent, necessarily, but you guys were so obviously repulsed by it during the Scenting Ceremony that I’ve been wondering ever since why you didn’t send me home.”
For a moment, all I can do is stare at her. When I see the seriousness and confusion shining back at me from those eyes, I laugh. I can’t help it. Maddie groans and punches my arm before covering her face with her hands.
“Never mind. Forget I asked.”
“No, it’s not that,” I manage as the laughter subsides. I reach for her hands, gently tugging them away from her face and shaking my head when she finally looks at me again. “It’s just that I can’t believe you’ve spent all this time thinking we’re repulsed by your scent.”
“Aren’t you?” she asks, a crease forming above the bridge of her nose as she pinches her eyebrows together. “I call bullshit. I’ve seen the way you all turn away from me. The looks on your faces. The swallowing like you’re gonna pu—”
