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Part of me wants to tuck tail and run. Especially because it’s pretty damn obvious he’s already in a real mood, but I can’t back down. Not now.
After our date, I went back to my chambers and tried to put it all behind me, but I can’t. This is too important. This iseverything, and he needs to know it.
“I’m here to talk to you,” I say eventually, bringing my gaze directly to his, although I’d rather be staring at hellfire than looking at the rage and hatred burning into me from those depths right now. “Could I have a few minutes? Please?”
A heavy breath falls out of him, but he nods and steps aside, waving me into their quarters. As I walk in, it’s immediately clear the other two aren’t here. There’s an emptiness, a silence, that says only Kaz is home right now.
Since he mentioned on our date that they were hanging out here after, I frown. I kind of expected them to be here to back me up on this if they chose to do so, but it looks like I’m on my own.
“We just talked for a whole fucking hour,” he says, his voice not as smooth as I’ve become accustomed to hearing from him. There’s a rough edge to it that could be either agony or rage. Or both, judging by that look on his face. “What else could you possibly have to say?”
“A lot.” It takes some doing, but I manage to keep my tone even. I need to get my point across, not to piss him off more. “You like me.”
His jaw grinds, the back of it ticking as he glares at me. “Okay. Is that a question? Because it didn’t sound like one.”
“No, it wasn’t, but it’s true. You like me and I like you.”
Some of the fury evaporates from his eyes, and his shoulders slump incrementally as he shakes his head. “Is there a point to any of this?”
“Yes, there is.” Swallowing every ounce of pride I’ve ever had, I walk up to him and take his hands in mine. “Choose me, Kaspian. I know it will be hard, and I know you’ve got better options, but choose me anyway. I’m strong enough to handle whatever gets slung my way, and I’ll be more committed to you than anyone else ever will. Tai and Wolf want me, and I know you do too. Just choose me. Please? We can figure the rest out later.”
For a moment, I seem to have rendered the Crown Prince speechless. His throat works, and he’s blinking hard, but he doesn’t say a word until he wrenches his hands out of mine and twists away from me. “I can’t do that, Maddison. Life isn’t about what we want. Or at least, my life isn’t. Going after what I want is a childish notion I’ve long since learned not to bother with. My life is about duty and honor, and there is neither of those things in choosing you.”
“Oh? Because I beg to differ.” I don’t reach for him again since he’s made it crystal clear he doesn’t want me touching him, but hewillhear me out. “What about your duty to your pack or your honor as Alpha? I realize you were talking about your Royal duty and honor, but we’re not talking about asking the kingdom to choose me, Kaz. We’re talking aboutyou.”
“That’s why I can’t choose you,” he hisses as he glares at me over his shoulder, already walking away. “You don’t even realize there is no difference. If I choose you, so does the kingdom. I can’t separate myself from the royalty, Maddison. Iamroyal. Iamthe next king of the goddamn empire, and I need to act accordingly.”
The tears that were stinging my eyes are back at full strength, but they’re not only prickling the backs of my eyes now, they’re streaming in hot rivulets down my cheeks. “So that’s it, then? There’s absolutely no way you’re choosing me?”
“I’ve been clear about that since our very first date. I was honest with you. I warned you. And now it’s all falling apart. My packmates…” He chokes, unable to continue, and I feel something inside me shrivel.
Oh no.
It wasn’t my intention at all, but is it possible I’ve come between them? In fact, it suddenly occurs to me this is why he was so angry when I arrived, and this is why they’re not here. They got into a fight.
Because of me.
The Royal freaking Pack with their super-strong bond is on the outs,because of me. A sob rises from the center of my being, but instead of sticking around when he’s right that he has, in fact, been crystal fucking clear right from the very beginning, I spin around and run.
And I don’t stop until I’m at the door that leads into the Omega wing. Pausing for a beat to collect myself, I swipe the tears from my face and vow that I can hold them in for just a few seconds. Just until I’m back in my room.
I cannot, under any circumstances, let them see me this way. The others can’t know that I’m heartbroken. If they see me sobbing my insides out, they’ll be stupid not to suspect that’s exactly what I am. And if that happens, they’ll expect me to go home.
But I won’t be because I’m stuck in this hell of my own, personal making because I have to keep spying until the very end. Regardless of everything else, Kaz and I struck a bargain, and he’s held up his end of it. Hell, he’s gone above and beyond, and I need to put my personal feelings about him aside and do the same.
As I crack open the stairwell door, everything is quiet in the hall. Which isn’t surprising, really. It’s almost dinner time, and most of the remaining Omegas will be gathered in the dining hall already. They’ve taken to having drinks there together before our meals—though Antonio and I are never invited.Gee, wonder why?
Just as I’m tiptoeing past his chambers, I notice his door is already slightly ajar and I hear movement inside. I paste a fake smile on to greet him, but then my face falls when I see through the opening that he’s not paying any attention to me. He’s too busy sucking face with one of the few Alpha security staff members to have noticed me.
I stop in my tracks, knowing I should keep walking but I can’t.What is he doing?
When they break apart, he glances out into the hall, clearly to check if the coast is clear. When he sees me gaping at them, his face turns ashen and he breathes my name. “Maddie.”
“Yes, Maddie,” I whisper back, then I point in the direction of the stairwell I just came from and glance at the Alpha. “That one’s clear. Go quickly.”
The Alpha nods, his expression stricken as he steals down the hall and turns from the door to take one last look at my friend. Antonio’s jaw tightens, but he nods at his lover and takes my wrist in a gentle grip before stepping out of his chambers and shutting the door behind him.
I feel icky.
