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She blinks, sitting up straighter before leaning back in her chair and giving me a disapproving look. “Rachel and Elsa both come from powerful families. They have good connections. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“They may have good connections, but they’re not good people. They’re nothing more than your average, garden-variety, mean-girl bullies.” I seethe quietly. “But you knew that already, didn’t you?”
Clearly hurt as my words hit home, she flinches, but before she can say anything in her defense, I hold up a hand because I’m not done yet. “Who we choose should beourdecision, and if you want to run to the press about it, then do it. I can’t stop you, but know you’ll be doing yourself as much harm as you’ll be doing to us. We’re choosing Maddison Darling, Mother.”
Since I’m not inclined to listen to the arguments she’ll inevitably have, I spin on my heels and storm right back out again.
She’s been pulling the strings for far too long and seeing Maddie hurt right in front of me made me realize the Trials have been a farce from the moment we laid eyes on her.
We’ve known all along that she’s meant to be ours and that she belongs with us. Our choice was made as far back as the Scenting Ceremony, and I’ve been a fool to deny it. I’ll regret it until the day I die that it took her getting hurt for me to pull my head out of my ass, but not evenIhave the power to turn back time.
At least I came to my senses before we did something we couldn’t come back from. And I know she wasn’t injured badly, but as soon as I realized what was going on, I saw red. Stuff I didn’t know I had in me rose up and those fucking Omegas are lucky I didn’t do worse than dismiss them. The way I was feeling at that moment, I’d have dragged them both to the guillotine personally by their goddamn hair.
Okay, so we don’t have working guillotines anymore, but still.
As I slam her office door behind me, I smack into something solid.
“Kaz?” My dad’s voice filters to my ears. When I blink out of my thoughts, I find him frowning at me, his hands on my shoulders to steady me.
For once, his eyes are clear, and I don’t smell any alcohol on him. “Are you all right, Son?”
“Do you care?” I snarl, backing away from him and fully intending on heading back to our quarters to find Maddie instead of wasting time talking to him.
“Of course, I care.” The raw pain in his voice stops me. Turning to face him again, I’m taken aback by the depths of the hurt in his eyes. “You left the door open before.”
I frown, my pulse pounding hard in my ears as I stare him down. “So what? I don’t care if you heard, and I don’t care if anyone else did either. Now, if you’ll—”
“I never wanted any of this,” he says suddenly, his face falling as he waves his hands around in the air. “The rules. The spotlight.The royal life.”
His shoulders slump as he shakes his head, and he jerks a thumb at the office I just emerged from. “I love her. I always have, but I wanted her without all of the pomp and pageantry that came along with her.”
“You knew exactly who she was,” I hiss. “If you didn’t want her life, you shouldn’t have burdened her with your poor decision-making for the rest of hers.”
“I sacrificed my happiness for her. To live her life,” he argues gently. “You’re right. I did know who she was when I chose her, but I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did, Kaz. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness for a life that wouldn’t do the same for you. Fight back. Take it from me, you’ll never be able to live with yourself if you don’t at least try.”
“Perhaps that’s true, but I wouldn’t go looking for solace at the bottom of a bottle or in another female’s cunt.”
His eyes flash with bright shock, but he doesn’t deny it. Just because I’ve never spoken to him this way doesn’t mean I’m wrong, and he knows it. “Kaspian, I—”
“Nothing you can say will negate what you’ve done,” I say, stepping forward to get in his face. “If you were so unhappy with the royal life, you could’ve severed your bond with her years ago. Don’t pretend that you didn’t have a choice.”
“I might have choices and I’ve made a lot of wrong decisions, but neither of us really want to sever our bond. We do love each other, even if you don’t believe it.”
“If you love her, how do you not know how much you’re hurting her? Why don’t you care? She doesn’t send you on all these overseas trips for nothing. She sends you away because having you here is too painful for her.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he asks mildly, blinking rapidly in surprise. “Of course, I know all that, Kaz. I feel every single little thing through our bond. Like right now, I feel her disappointment and I know she feels mine in return.”
“You should be talking to her about all this, then,” I respond coolly, finally breaking eye contact with him and getting back on track with my original plan to go back to my chambers.
My parents’ relationship has been broken since I can remember and neither of them seem to care enough to fix it. I never knew my father felt the way he said he does, that he never wanted this life or the rules that come with it, but that’s no excuse.
I may not agree with the way he’s handled it, but he’s right about one thing: I’ll never be able to live with myself if I sacrifice my own happiness along with that of my pack. How this will play out, I don’t know. It’s probably not going to be pretty and I’ve no doubt that my mother will try to put a stop to us bonding with her, but with Tai, Wolf, and Maddie in my corner, I’m certain we’ll endure whatever she sends our way.
Shit, we’ll do more than just endure it. Together, we’re going to thrive. It’s simply a matter of getting to that point.
And Tai’s right. There are still so many things I can do without Mother’s endorsement. Things I can do with my boots on the ground and my own influence. They may not move mountains or change laws, but they could still make a difference.
Before any of that, I have to let her know what I’ve done. My pack will know already or, at the very least, they’ll suspect it. With what they’re sure to be feeling from me through our bond, the confrontational determination and the intense relief, I’m sure they’ll put two and two together.
