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“Stepping across the line? It’s you who stepped across the line.” He bites out the words with such force, spittle sprays from his mouth.” Why did you not come to one of us for the money?”
Cade coughs. “My point exactly.”
Traitor.I glare at him.
He raises his shoulders. “I did tell you so.”
I dig my fingers into my hair and tug. “I will not take money from my friends to fund a venture. It’s a sure-fire way to lose relationships.” I glare between the men. “And don’t tell me you don’t agree.”
JJ scowls.
Michael firms his lips.
Sinclair’s eyebrows knit.
None of them say anything. “That’s what I thought.” I roll my shoulders to try to alleviate the ache that’s settled between them, not that it helps any. "I saw an opportunity and took it.”
"At what cost, though?" Sinclair tilts his head.
At the cost of my heart. At the cost of my living out the rest of my life knowing I’ll never find anyone like her. Knowing I’ll never feel like this about anyone else. Knowing I love her. My heart stutters. Goddam it, I love her.
I did the right thing in making her hate me. She deserves someone better than me, someone who doesn't share my proclivities. And every time I see her with another man, I’m going to want to kill myself.
I allow my lips to curl. "It’s all or nothing. You get one opportunity to get things right. You get that one big, shining, tingling feeling once in your lifetime, and for me—" I slap my chest, once more playing the role of egotistical Hollywood film star. It’s what my friends expect to see, after all. "This was it."
It was also the perfect opportunity to give her a reason to walk away from me and find someone more worthy. When I found out about the planned photo-op, I knew that was my chance. I figured, I could arrange things so she’d walked in on me with Niko’s woman. This was the perfect opportunity to make her hate me. And when Solene told me what she saw, I knew my plan was working. I could use her insecurities to my advantage. I hated myself for even thinking it, but this could be the key to pushing her away. I had to use it. Of course, she wasn’t buying the story I was engaged to someone else. I shouldn't have been surprised; we've played that game before. Which is when I decided to blame it on my desire for revenge for what her brother did to me.
Now, she hates me. I hate myself for making her hate me. I wish there had been a way to do this without hurting her, but I needed to make sure she'll never care for me again. I needed to prove to her that the me she fell in love with when she was fourteen, is not the same me today. I curl my fingers into fists at my sides. She's never going to forgive me for what I did. But as long as she has a chance to find the right man, and the kind of future she deserves, it will be worth it. Which makes me wonder.Maybe the old me is hiding in here somewhere.I shake my head to dislodge that thought.
Michael scoffs, "Coming to an understanding with the head of the Bratva, who’s known to squeeze his opponents of their every last drop of utility… Do you realize how insane your plan is?"
"You should know; haven't you done the same?"
He opens his mouth to finish, but this time, I raise my hand. "No, let me finish. You know I’m right. This is the tactic you've used at every turning point in your life, and look where it's gotten you."
"I also got my head out of my ass long enough to marry the love of my life with whom I now have a child," Michael counters.
"Maybe that’s not what I want." I thrust out my chest. "Maybe getting this movie done and racing it to the top of the box office is the future I want."
"Maybe you’re as stupid as you come across." JJ leans forward on the balls of his feet.
"MaybeI want the lot of you to butt out of my life."
"We’ve established that’s not happening. Deal with it," Michael says in a voice that brooks no argument.
A-n-d, my acting skills have never come in handier than now. Even my friends are willing to buy my act as someone willing to do anything to star in the movie that will catapult me to the top of my career.Even Solene bought it.
And it’s true, that’s why I decided to get Nikolai Solonik to invest in my film. And when he called in his favor, I struggled. I didn't want to agree. When it comes down to it, I didn't want to let Solene go, but I knew it was best for her. So, I embraced what I had to do, and when I realized I could use the situation to get her to walk away from me, I had to do that, too.And why do I have to keep reminding myself I did this for her?
All I have left now is this movie. Something I’ve worked for all my life.So why am I not more thrilled about it? Why is it that, without her, nothing holds the same attraction for me?
"Declan, are you listening?" Sinclair’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
I glance between the assembled men, then square my shoulders. "I’m going through with this, and nothing you guys say can change my mind."
Sinclair opens his mouth to speak, when my phone buzzes. I ignore it, and it stops. Then, another buzzing sounds—Cade’s phone, this time. We glance at each other, then he reaches for his phone, checks the screen and frowns.
"Hello?" He answers. "Yes, this is Cade Kingston." He listens to the voice on the other side, then pales. "How long has he been missing?"
