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"Oh, and you don’t have to worry about random paps. The security has been beefed up. Nothing can get through." She heads for the staircase.
"Thanks for the offer, Summer, but I think I’m going to leave."
"You sure?" She pauses and looks over her shoulder. "There’s plenty of room for all of you." She includes Mira and Penny in her glance.
"I’m sure. I have an early flight out tomorrow and I’d prefer to get back and pack, you know?"
She hesitates then nods. "Whatever you want, Solene, and remember, we're here for you." She waves, then begins to climb.
Penny, Mira and I say goodbye to Abby, then pivot and head for the door with me in the lead.
"Solene?" Declan’s voice reaches me, and a few seconds later, his heavy tread approaches. I stiffen and lock my fingers together. I will not turn. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of finding out he’s unnerved me. I knew he would be here at the Sterlings’ residence—he and Cade and Knight are the closest of friends—but I tried not to dwell on it. Abby's one of my closest friends, too, and I needed to be there for her emotionally.
Penny and Mira move forward to stand on either side of me. It’s a show of support, and damn if I’m not grateful for it. I’m not sure if I have the strength to face Declan after the emotional rollercoaster of a day I’ve had.
Declan skirts our little group and turns to stand in front of me. He surveys my features, and whatever he sees there makes the frown on his face deepen. "You okay, Rabbit?"
I wince at the nickname, then school my features into a mask. I cannot allow him to see how much his nearness is affecting me. "I will be, when I don’t have to see your face again."
His features tighten. He takes a step forward, but Penny steps between us. "She doesn’t want to talk to you."
He draws in a breath, then narrows his gaze on me. "We need to talk."
"You heard Penny. I don’t want to talk to you," I say through gritted teeth.
"I spoke with Giorgina a little while ago. I think it’s important for both of our careers that you listen to—"
I step closer and stab my finger into his chest. "I don’t fucking care, youpezzo di merda.You have some temerity trying to speak with me after what you did earlier. I fucking h-h-h-hate you." And there goes my stutter, revealing my emotions, dammit. A tear squeezes out of the corner of my eye, then another. The last thing I want is for thatstronzoto see me breaking apart. I will not let him see how much he’s affecting me with what he did. I will not let him watch me make a complete fool of myself.
I pull back my arm, haul my bag over my shoulder and say, "Let me be clear, Mr. Hollywood Star, I never want to see you again.Capiche?"
46
Three months later
Declan
"You have to try to see her again." Giorgina's voice floats up from the phone I placed on the floor next to the punching bag.
"Not sure she agrees with that," I reply as I continue to pummel the punching bag in the private gym set up for me in one of the trailers on location. We’ve been shooting in New Zealand for the last month. With the money from Niko Solonik coming through, and the remaining investors ready to play ball, I restarted the production, and this time, on my terms.
And every moment of every day, I've missed her.
I’ve thrown myself into my work, but not even being immersed in my dream project has gotten her out of my mind. The pain in her eyes when I told her I’d only pretended to be emotionally involved with her will live with me forever. I'm scum of the lowest order. Worse than the news-hungry paps who followed me around. A bottom feeder. That's me. No, I'm worse than that. I hurt her in the worst possible way. I went back on my word that I'd forgiven her for what her brother did to me. I hit her where it would cause the worst damage. And I did it, so she’d forget about me and move on—which is what I wanted, right?
Now she can find someone who'll treat her like the princess she is and not the whore I insisted on degrading her to every time we were together. Not someone whose perverse tendencies would debase her. Is it supposed to hurt so much to do something for the benefit of someone else?
She deserves better. So why is it that I can’t move on from her?
"Declan, you still there?” Giorgina asks. A thread of worry laces her tone, a first from my hard-headed PR manager. It shows how distracted I’ve been since I walked away from my woman. I need to get my head back in the game. Need to move on. Need to get my act together and focus on my dream project.
I set my jaw. “I’m good.”I’m not.The need to see her has grown daily. A throbbing, insistent ache that has infiltrated every cell in my body. At least, she’s safe. I can take some solace in that. I know this because the security detail she employed in place of Rick was also vetted by me. Not that she knows that. She’s also unaware that Harry is keeping me posted on her performances, and on whether she's seeing anyone else. She's not. That arsehole owes me, after all. It’s the only reason I’ve managed to stop myself from jumping on a flight and going to her. To apologize and tell her how badly I screwed up. But she’s better off without me, and that’s what has stopped me. Now, if only I could focus on the movie before I screw it up beyond redemption.
“O-kay.” She hesitates. "You do realize, it doesn’t matter what you think she thinks. Question is, what doyouthink? Are you sure things are over between the two of you?" she asks.
I lower my hands to my sides. My breath comes in pants. Sweat flows down my temples and drips down from my chin.
“Absolutely.” I grab my towel from the floor and wipe my face. “Regardless of what I think or want, whatever was between us is over. She already announced that to her audience," I remind Giorgina.
