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I turn to Rick. "He’s a bigger star than I am. You’d think he’d want you with him, Rick." Finn’s just an inch shorter than Rick. And where Rick’s heavily muscled and seems to spend all his spare time in the gym, Finn’s got the build of a runner. Lean and streamlined. They’re a good contrast for each other, including in their personalities, with Rick’s dark, bad-tempered looks and Finn’s more laid-back, outgoing personality. Rick rubs the back of his neck. "Declan’s the boss. I do as he says."
"But the two of you are friends."
"We are. I was in the military with Knight. He’s the one who introduced me to Declan. So, we do have friends in common." Rick’s features darken even more. Talking about Knight must remind him about his friend’s predicament.
"Any word on Knight?" I ask.
Rick runs his fingers through his hair. "Cade confirmed they have an extraction team in place and are drawing up plans to go after Knight."
I nod. I was there for that call. "I know you want to be there—"
"But I need to leave it to the experts. I’d only get in the way. Besides, my skills are of better use here doing my job."
I roll my eyes. "You mean, updating Declan about my whereabouts, don’t you?"
"I take my role seriously, and if that means keeping Declan informed about where you are so he can focus on his movie, then yes."
I stare at him. "You’re very loyal toward him."
He rolls his shoulders. "He’s a good guy." He hesitates. "I was in a bad place in my life after I left the military. Knight, as you’re aware, stayed on, but… things happened, and I decided to leave."
Finn stiffens. I shoot him a glance, to find he’s staring at Rick with a look on his face that I can’t quite decipher.
"Knight asked Declan to check in on me, as he was worried. He and Cade came in search of me, found me in a bad way. If he hadn’t intervened, I wouldn’t be standing here. So yeah, I owe him."
Finn shuffles his weight between his feet. He opens and shuts his mouth, then seems to change his mind and flattens his lips. O-k-a-y, the dynamics here are making my head spin. But whatever is going on between Rick and Finn is their business. I have problems of my own. Not the least of all, the fact that after that wonderful night we spent together, when I was sure he had feelings for me, when I thought the way we’d made love was the start of something different between us, when I thought—I trace the stone on my engagement ring with my finger—our engagement meant something more than the vehicle to kickstart our careers…
Turns out, nothing changed for him. If it had, wouldn't he have called me before he flew out? Or left me a message? Or called me from the plane? He could call Rick but not me, apparently. He left and took the butt-plug with him. The muscles of the rosette between my ass cheeks clamps down on the empty space. Goddamn him, but I miss that intrusion, which is so weird. I was sure it was an invasion of my privacy, but I guess it was also a way to stay connected to him. Anyway, I don’t mind my privacy being invaded, as long as it's by him. I turn away from the two men and walk over to busy myself with the music sheets I’ve been working on.
Only good thing with this up and down relationship with Declan? I have enough inspiration to write the lyrics for my next few songs. Seems the best way to free the muse is to be on an emotional rollercoaster. Harry put me in touch with a new producer who's going to work on my next album with me. We're in his studio, and for the first time since the cancellation of the last leg of my tour, I can’t wait to get started.
My throat tickles and I end up coughing. Finn looks at me with concern, then brings me a glass of water. "You okay?"
"Of course. I’m probably dehydrated, is all." I take a sip of water, cough again, and end up emptying the entire glass.
The two of them exchange glances—their interaction is completely professional, with both of them wearing their security detail faces.
"Madonna Mia, you guys, there’s no need to worry. See, I’m not coughing any more. No need to go bothering Declan about it."And if I’ve coughed on and off the last couple of weeks, it’s nothing. Okay not nothing, because it’s persistent. And it has interfered with my singing, and to be honest, I’m worried about it. But no way, am I going to make a big deal of it.It’ll only make Rick inform Declan right away and then he’ll be all up my business, which I don’t want right now. I’ll get it looked at... As soon as I finish the tour.
"You sure you’re okay?" Rick frowns.
Luckily, the producer enters the room.
"There you are!" I hold up the sheaf of paper with my lyrics. "I can’t wait to get started."
* * *
"Have you called to tell him you’re upset with him for leaving without talking to you?" Penny eyes me with concern from my phone screen.
After I finished the session with the producer, which had gone really well. So well, in fact, I’m going back in the studio and recording my next song tomorrow, which is unheard of. But hey, when everything comes together, you don’t question it. You thank your muse and keep going.
The new producer is brilliant. He has experience, having worked with some of the biggest names in music, yet he's also enthusiastic and knows exactly when to back off. He’s patient enough to let me have my say when it comes to arranging the vocals. If anything, he helped me hone the tune. A few tweaks and it sounds even better than what I envisaged. Which is exactly the role of a producer. I can’t wait to get back to the studio tomorrow.
I came home—to Declan’s home, that is—and went up to my room. And then I missed him even more. Which is when I called Penny. Not wanting to disturb Abby, who's stressed enough over Knight, or Isla, who seems to be in a perennial honeymoon phase with her new husband Liam, Penny was the logical choice to turn to. She must feel the same way; she’s been messaging me over the past few weeks, as well.
Summer added both of us to the online wives and girlfriends chat-group she created, but the women there are involved with men who are close to Declan, and I don’t really want to share what I'm going through there. Besides, most of them there are married or in stable relationships, like Lena with JJ, a-n-d I’m not sure they know what it's like to be single and gripped with anxiety about the state of your relationship.
"Solene, did you hear me?"
