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"No, absolutely not. I’m not going to accept this from you. No way." She folds her arms over her chest, which only makes her tits push out against the hospital gown. I know she’s not wearing a bra under that. I know because I wasn’t able to stop myself from palming them to soothe myself to sleep. After I crawled into bed and pulled her into my arms so I could share my warmth with her. She instantly settled, and in a practiced gesture, she pushed her butt into my crotch, which notched up my need for her further.
I’m never going to be in the same space as her and not want to be buried within her hot, tight hole. I’m never going to not be able to think of her every moment I’m away from her. I’m never not going to want to protect her from the world. Never be unable to want to shield her from the attention of everyone else. It’s not in my DNA to rein in that possessive side of me. It’s who I am. And it’s time we both accept it.
"Yes, you are."
"No. I’m not." She tips up her chin.
I had her moved to a hospital suite as soon as she'd recovered enough. Strong enough, that is, to be able to be transferred, not strong enough to find that streak of adamancy in her that has brought us to loggerheads so many times before.
"This is not a negotiation, Rabbit. Nor a request. This is a fucking order." I glare at her, and she holds my gaze for a second, then another. Then her lips quiver, her eyes grow brighter, and a teardrop slides down her cheek. I bend my head and lick it up. "Please, baby. Please, let me do this for you."
She shivers. "Don’t do that."
"Why not?"
"I don’t like it."
"Your body says otherwise." I palm her tit, and the telltale hardness of her nipple stabs into my palm. I tilt my head at her, but she’s not impressed.
"Don’t change the topic with sex."
"There's no topic to change, because you’re going to accept this from me."
"You mean, your kidney?"
"Yes."
She laughs, but it sounds hollow.
My heart feels like it’s going to break through my chest. "No, baby, I’m not going to let you give up. I’m not going to let you wallow in self-pity or get depressed. We identified the problem and found the solution. Now, let’s just implement it, shall we?"
She rubs at her temple. "How can you always reduce everything to cold, hard logic?"
"It’s what I’m best at."
"It’s a lot to take in." She begins to look away, but I pinch her chin, so she has no choice but to stay focused on my face. And to look into my eyes. Which is one way of ensuring she complies with what I have in mind.
"It is a lot. And I blame myself for things getting to this stage."
She scoffs. "It’s hardly your fault I was ill with a streptococcal infection that led to needing a kidney transplant. It’s a one in one-thousand chance that this could happen." She hunches her shoulders. "Just my luck that point-zero-zero-one percent settled on me."
"And the chances are even lower that I'd turn out to be a tissue match. But here we are. I want to do this for you. I order you to let me do this for you."
She squeezes her eyes shut. "Isn’t it enough that you suffered from what my brother did to you? Now you want to put yourself through something potentially life-threatening, and—"
I place my palm over her mouth. "I’d sacrifice myself over and over again for you. It’s the only thing I can think of to do to make up for how much I hurt you."
She glances away then back at me. “Are you saying these things because you think that’s what I want to hear, or do you mean it?”
“What do you think?”
“I think.” She swallow, “I... I...“ She shakes her head. “I want to believe you mean it, but after everything you did, I’m not sure what to make of it.”
My heart slams into my ribcage, and my pulse rate shoots up. I roll off the bed then sink to my knees.
“Wh-wh-what are you doing?” She begins to sit up, but I grip her shoulder and gently apply pressure, so she sinks back against the pillow. “What are you doing, Delcan?”
“Trying to show you how sorry I am for everything I put you through. As you know, I’m not good at expressing my feelings, Rabbit, but I’m going to try.”
