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I blush. "Oh."
"Oh, indeed." I hear the smile in his voice. He begins to run his fingers down the length of my hair. His fingers snag on a knot, he gently loosens it, then digs his fingers into my scalp, his touch tracing a path along the strands of my hair again. I can’t stop the purr that wells up my throat.
He chuckles. I still. Whoa, his entire body is as relaxed as when he was in that small room off of his closet. More relaxed than his penthouse proper, for sure.
"You don’t like your apartment very much, do you?"
He pauses.Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I’m filterless, remember?For a few seconds, I’m sure he’s going to pull me off his lap, then he continues the soothing movement of his fingers down my hair. I sigh and curl into him again. Crisis averted. Keep your lips zipped and enjoy his touch. Maybe that’s pathetic, but all I know is it feels sooo right to be in his lap and in his arms like this.
"Am I that obvious?"
"To me, you are," I echo the words he said to me a few days ago. Gosh, was that only a few days ago? So much has taken place since.
He blows out a breath, and his muscles unwind further. "You know, I was taken captive by the enemy. What I haven’t told anyone is that for most of my stay, they kept me confined to a forty-square foot cell,”—he swallows—"until they buried me in a space no bigger than a coffin for forty-eight hours.”
“Oh, my god,” I gasp.
“They kept me there without food and water. Of course, by that time, I might as well have been dead after what they did to my team. They flayed them alive in front of my eyes, then cut them up into little pieces and made me watch."
A ball of emotion obstructs my throat. A heaviness drums behind my eyes. I don’t dare move or breathe. This complex, tortured man is revealing what he hasn't told anyone else before, and I feel honored. I feel like he’s laying a huge responsibility on my shoulders. I feel like I can’t let him down. I feel like I owe it to him to help him through whatever he's going through. I stay silent as he gathers his thoughts. His touch on my hair is almost mechanical now.
"They electrocuted me. They attached electrodes to my extremities—toallof my extremities—" He swallows. I try to look up then, but he grips the back of my head and stops me. "They used e-stimulation to make me orgasm against my will. Then one of my captors, who was a woman, fucked me. Over and over again."
His heartbeat picks up against my cheek. His entire body tenses again. His muscles are so hard that the planes threaten to cut through my skin.
I swallow but dare not move for fear that he'll stop speaking. I’m not sure I want to hear this, but surely, it’s helpful for him to share what happened to him. It’s the only way for him to start healing, after all.
"I hated my body then. Hated the fact that, despite what I’d been through, it could find a way to react and be turned on. Hated that I could get an erection, despite being beaten and cut and tortured." He laughs bitterly. "Apparently, having my own men flayed alive was not enough to douse my libido."
"That’s why you didn’t want to develop feelings for me? That’s why you tried to stop yourself from making love to me?"
"I fucked you. I didn’t make love to you," he growls.
Hmm. He looked into my eyes when he took me the last few times. In my books, that counts as making love. Also, I saw it in his eyes; he's developing feelings for me. Not that I’m going to tell him that, of course.
I stay silent, and after a few minutes, he lets out a breath that raises the hair on my head. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that."
I pull back and stare at him. "Did you apologize to me?"
He scowls at me, then one side of his mouth twitches. "You’re being sassy, again, Little Dove."
I flutter my eyelashes. "Does that mean you’re going to punish me, Sir?"
"That means I’m going to—"
There’s a knock on the door, then a woman’s voice—it’s the receptionist, I’m sure—calls out, "Mr. Warren, there’s someone here to see you. I’m sorry but I was unable to stop her, and—"
The door swings open, then a new voice exclaims, "There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you."
"I said I wasn’t to be disturbed for the rest of the day," he growls through gritted teeth.
"You promised you’d come today, and when you didn’t, I missed you. I… Oh—" She must notice me. "Who isshe?" Her voice is suspicious.
My heart slams into my ribcage like it’s a battering ram trying to break its way out. Who isshe?Whyis she? Why is she talking to Sir like sheknowshim?Doesshe know him?
Knight’s muscles tense. "I think you need to leave, right now."
"But I… I’m your wife."
