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It was received with mixed feelings. It placated some and enraged others. I had to stop looking at it. Without a full apology and admittance, I didn’t think anything would calm down some of the loudest haters.
I’d decided to follow Levi’s advice and, if asked, give his canned answer, but I hated myself for it. I felt like a coward but tried to push it out of my mind as our set came up. It wasn’t a full show because they always booked a ton of acts for NYE.
Aspen took the stage, and I braced myself for this night to go as badly as possible, but the reception to his first solo song was good. The crowd seemed to be into it. I blew into my hands, already wanting to drag him back to our hotel room and rip the latex off of him.
I watched from side stage as he sang, and then he shed the overcoat as we came out for our band opener, and I groaned. He hadn’t let me see him before he went on stage, and now I knew why. His dick was on full display. I bet if I got closer, I could see the fucking veins.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I wanted to grab him by the cock and force him off stage to service me.
He met my eyes and smiled when I kept staring. He walked over like we used to, and we played a few inches apart. My mouth watered, and he smirked. I was sure he could feel it rolling off me in waves.
The strings of my guitar came with shapes, rolling the melody of our songs through my entire body. My synesthesia was heightened with all the stress and emotions, and it made me want to touch Aspen even more than I already did.
He returned to his mic so he could finish out the song.
“Are you ready for the New Year?”
The crowd screamed, but it wasn’t what it had been on our tour. Until he handed his guitar to the tech and stripped off his shirt, tossing it to the fans. He took the new guitar from the tech but pushed it to hang half around his back, lifting his arms.
The audience erupted, and Aspen smiled.
It felt like his anxiety eased some. How he wasn’t shivering in the New York winter, I don’t know, but he embodied the persona as he leaned forward to deliver the first notes of the next song.
We returned to us.
Something I knew I missed, but not how much.
Our world felt right again.
We played the last song, and I came over to sing with him into his mic. He turned, so we were both at a forty-five-degree angle to the crowd so he could look into my eyes.
It took everything I had not to kiss him.
I didn’t want to hide.
Good or bad, I didn’t want to overthink any of what we did in public. I didn’t want to have to second guess who was around or if we were in front of an open window. I wanted to be able to kiss my boyfriend any time and any place. I had to talk to him. He’d given me permission, but this wasn’t to defend myself.
This was for us.
But they shuffled us over to talk to the hosts as soon as our set finished, so it would have to wait.
We answered the basic questions and pleasantries, and then those mother fuckers blindsided us.
“We thought after the distance between your statements, you’d maybe want to clear the air with one of our other guests this evening. We have Arthur Gold here tonight.”
Arthur walked out with a smug grin that told me everything I needed to know. He knew about this while we’d been kept in the dark. Rage boiled inside me, and I wanted nothing more than to lay this bitch out.
Ian would be proud. I counted backward, trying to calm myself down. Had Aspen and I not kept up with the yoga and meditating, I wouldn’t have had the calm to hold myself off. Aspen scooted closer on the little sofa we sat on, slipping his hand into mine.
I gave him a confused look.
He leaned in and said against my ear, “We are a team.”
“Are you sure?”
“I saw the look on your face on stage. It’s just a matter of time before you kiss me there.” There was a smile and warmth to his words. They felt purple and blue over my skin. Little knots of love as I squeezed his hand.
We straightened up when Arthur sat down. He grinned so damn smug. Little did he know I was going to annihilate him.
