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My cell phone rings.
I race over to the nightstand to grab my phone, and I see it's my oldest daughter, Nicole. It must be about sixteen hours later here, but I'm too frazzled to do the math right now. I skip that and say hello. "What's up, sweetie? Is something wrong?"
"We're all fine, Mom. Well, except for Dad. We haven't been able to get ahold of him by phone or email."
"He's fine. Trust me."
Nicole hesitates, then asks, "Why does it sound like you know exactly where he is? You're in the South Pacific."
Craig must not have told anyone that he was flying to Heirani Motu.
"Dad is here with me, Nic."
"Where exactly are you guys? A spontaneous vacation isn't your style, especially since you're divorced."
"It's a long story. But don't worry, we're fine."
She makes little tuneless humming sounds, which always means she's suspicious. "Are you two getting back together?"
"No, absolutely not. Your father... Well, he, um, followed me here."
"What? Dad is stalking you?" Nicole laughs more boisterously than seems appropriate. "That's great, Mom!"
"You think your father is stalking me, and you like the idea? What kind of demented child did we raise?"
"Take a chill pill, Mom. Dad isn't actually a stalker. But I'm glad you guys wound up on the same island, which is called...what? I forgot."
I tsk. "That's because I never told you the island's name."
"Come on. What if there's an emergency? You need to tell us where to go to bring the caskets home."
"That's not funny." I drum my nails on the nightstand, trying to decide how much I should share with my daughter. Nicole is an adult and the mother of a new baby, so I'm sure she can handle the truth. "The resort is on a private island called Heirani Motu that's exclusively for guests of the Au Naturel Naturist Resort South Seas."
"Naturist? You're birdwatching or something?"
I wince, though she can't see that. "No, honey. It's a nudist resort."
Silence. I can hear faint static on the line as I count the seconds until she speaks again. One, two, three, four---
Nicole bursts into a fit of uproarious laughter.
I wait while she gets it out of her system and blows her nose. "You're serious, aren't you? Vanessa and Craig Hathaway are staying at a nudist resort. That means you're both naked, right? Ooh, that's perfect."
"Why is it perfect? I don't like it when you get that sneaky tone in your voice." I won't point out that I go by Stendahl now, not Hathaway. She knows that but chooses to ignore it.
"Of course it's perfect. You and Dad, naked all the time... Oh yeah, that's definitely going to end with you guys tying the knot again."
"Don't get your hopes up. We will not be getting remarried. Your dad and I live separate lives now." I drop my head into my hand. "Except when we both wound up on the same island."
"That's a good thing. He wants you back, Mom, can't you tell? You guys are meant to be together."
"No, we're not."
"We'll see." Nicole makes those humming noises again. "Can I be the one to tell April and Greg?"
Naturally, she sounds like she just can't wait to break the shocking news to her brother and sister.
"Sure, fine, you can tell them." I suddenly get an idea that would be a rotten thing to do to my ex-husband. But he tricked me into coming here, so maybe he deserves a little comeuppance. "And you can tell your dad that I shared our vacation plans with you."
