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Saying no to him has become almost impossible since I arrived on this island. Every time he suggests we do something naughty, he speaks those words in a husky, sensual voice that erases all my memories of why I should tell him to stop. I loved what we did on the beach. But last night... Holy shit, that was the most incredible sexual experience of my life.
Now he wants to do it again. Here in the woods.
I'm getting wetter just thinking about that, and a sultry tingle has started up between my thighs.
He sits up and sets his feet on the ground, roving his gaze over my entire body. Just watching him do that makes me even more aroused. If Craig had behaved this way when we were married, I would never have let him divorce me. Oh, now that's a rational suggestion. Stay married for the hot sex. I think I've lost about fifty IQ points in the past few days.
Craig leans toward me. "Tell me you absolutely do not want to have sex with me, and I'll go away. Be honest with yourself and me."
If I lie, he'll realize that. Craig knows me better than anyone. He's leveraging that fact as part of seducing me. But I'm not a silly ingenue. I'm a mature woman who can say no to any man, no matter how pushy he gets. Craig isn't pushy, though, and for some reason I can't say no to him anymore.
"You're conflicted, Vanessa. I can see it on your face. Why does this have to be such a big deal for you?"
"Because we're divorced, and you dumped me."
"I'm sorry. I should never have done that."
I sit up and face him. "Apologizing is all well and good, but I need explanations. You were going to give me that, or so you said. Then my phone rang, and we both forgot about finishing our discussion."
"Let's finish it now."
"Okay. Go on and tell me."
He squirms and makes an uncomfortable face. Then he sighs. "I love you, Vanessa. Always have, always will. But I could tell you were unhappy. You lost interest in me because I was working too damn hard. I hated my job and should've quit, to show you that the most important thing in my life is you, even without kids in the house."
"It's true that everything changed when the kids moved out. Once our youngest was gone, we had to learn how to talk to each other again. And we didn't do a good job of that."
"April leaving was part of the problem. But we had gotten into a rut before that, one that only deepened afterward." He clasps his hands and stares down at them. "You kept saying that we never had any fun, everything was stale and boring. You even lost interest in sex."
"I know. And I used to blame you for that, but it's not fair to lay it all on you. I missed my babies. They don't need me anymore, and I guess the empty-nest syndrome hit me hard."
"Yeah, me too. But I couldn't find a way to tell you that." He looks up at me, smiling ruefully. "I'm a typical man, the kind who's ashamed to admit that he doesn't know what the hell to do. My wife was miserable, and I could think of only one way to fix the problem."
"By dumping me."
"It's not quite that simple. I believed that setting you free was the only way to spare you from more pain." He shakes his head. "I'm a moron. I know that. Over the past three years, I've come to realize I made a horrible mistake. You are the only woman for me."
"And you think you're the only man for me."
"No. I hope I can win you back, but I know it will be a long, hard road to accomplish that."
"Yes, it will."
He stares at me for a moment without blinking. Then he swallows hard enough that the movement is visible in his throat. "Are you saying there's a chance I could win you back?"
I hadn't meant to give him that hope. But I don't want to completely shut down the idea either. Coming to Heirani Motu has affected me in ways that I can't fully articulate, and I'm starting to see things in a different light. Does that mean I want to reconcile with Craig? The question comes with so many caveats that I don't know how to respond. All I can do is be honest.
"That's not a yes or no question, Craig. We were married for a long time, then you threw our marriage away seemingly on a whim. I need time to think about what you've told me and what it might mean to our relationship."
"I get it, I do." He looks so dejected that I want to hug him, but that would only confuse things even more. "I'll wait forever for you, Vanessa. You're my soul mate."
Since when does he believe in soul mates? Craig used to scoff at that sort of thing, and so did I. He seems to have become a true romantic over the past three years.
I get up and give him the best smile I can, though it's a tight one. "I'll think about everything you said. That's the best I can offer."
He jumps up, his expression brightening. "Thank you, Nessa."
As I walk away from him, I fight the impulse to glance back. For reasons I can't explain, I feel like I've betrayed him by not immediately jumping into his arms and offering to marry him again. That's ridiculous. Even Craig doesn't expect me to do that. I don't know if two weeks on this island will change anything, but I'm about to find out one way or another.
