AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And I’ve worked on projects with you in the past,” Lillian said. “You work hard, get it done, don’t fool around. And you say what you mean. You don’t talk around the topic, being upfront and proactive.”
“We’re surrounded by people who want to live their high school years for the rest of their lives,” Hazel said. “Over the summer, something happened and we realized that wasn’t what we wanted. We want more and we want to know more people. Find people who have similar goals as us. We want to reach out to the world. And something about you makes us think that you want the same thing. You being here tonight only proves it.”
Lillian waved her hand dismissively. “Before we get preachy and probably creepier, you have to get out there. We’ll talk more later.” She smiled. “You don’t see it, but we do. And you’re a friend worth having, even if you don’t realize it. You’re a good person.”
Lillian hooked her arm through her sister’s and yanked her out of the tent as they talked in low voices with each other.
“Ready?” Mr. Shanon asked again.
I nodded and headed out with him.
He smiled as I came to his side. His hand hovered by my hand before dropping, knowing better than to touch me. The first year, he had patted my back and took note of my reaction. Where he had touched me had been a bruise that Lindie had given me the night before and since I hadn’t been expecting his touch, I wasn’t prepared for it. Mr. Shanon hadn’t said anything about my reaction, thinking I had been shy. He also probably thought my dad used to beat me and that was why it was just Lindie and me. I thought Lindie planted that idea very carefully into his head. I never bothered asking. She’d done it before with others when she noticed anyone getting suspicious.
Mr. Shanon’s features softened when he looked at me. “Glad you’re doing this again. You’ll do fine, I know you will. Just like you do every year. We really do appreciate you always coming back. There’s a sincerity in your performance that we can’t find anywhere else.”
I smiled and for the first time it felt like I was giving him a genuine one. In the past, my smiles were tense and shaky. “I enjoy doing it and thank you for inviting me back each year.”
He returned the smile, sensing something was different. He took in a deep breath before making his way on the stage, quickly grabbing everyone’s attention.
I peeked from behind the curtain to take in the crowd. Hazel and Lillian were near the front. Hazel had her camera up, looking more than ready. It was fascinating to see her whole demeanor change into something more serious as she waited patiently for the right shots, her sister at her side. I scanned more of the scene, noting the people there, knowing many of them, considering my mother was in the same circles as them. That only tightened the knot forming in my stomach.
No doubt, they were as curious about me as they were about the charity event. I only hoped they didn’t show up just to get a glance at Lindie’s daughter and the chance to gain more material for gossip. Hopefully, they signed their checkbooks and donated money.
I quickly found the boys sitting at a table not too far away from the twins, where I managed to have a table reserved. The foundation was more than happy to accommodate me. Especially since I’d never asked before, and partly because of Bryan once they realized he was listed as one of my guests. They wanted his family’s connections. All six of them turned toward the stage, and I smiled until my cheeks hurt, heat flooding my face as warm tingles gathered in my body, pushing the nerves away.
They were here.
For me.
As support.
No one had ever been to my events just for me. I was always just a performer blending in with other performers. They came for entertainment, not to show their appreciation to me.
And Lindie was always there to make sure I didn’t make a fool out of myself, to nitpick any mistakes I made, and to act as a reminder of what was to come if I didn’t play the songs she selected. I’d changed it up on her once.
I shivered. Never again.
I tuned in to Mr. Shanon as he continued with his speech, welcoming everyone and thanking them for attending. He then went on to sing praise for me, thanking me and welcoming me back. When the crowd cheered, I walked on stage.
At the center of the stage, I greeted Mr. Shanon, shaking his hand and giving him a smile. As he walked off the stage, I bowed and then settled behind the piano, tucking my dress skirt underneath me. I took in a deep breath, drinking in that moment of anticipation that the crowd always felt before I began. I released my breath, and then I played.
The set of three songs poured out of me. I closed my eyes, letting all my emotions out as my fingers kissed the keys, caressing them just right to get the sound that I wanted. It was safe to do that here, to allow myself to feel the music deep in my soul. My music was picked because it told a story that only an abused child would understand. Of the confusion, the guilt. Of the pain and the bone-deep sorrow.
The notes floated up from my fingers and out into the crowd. No one bothered to whisper, to speak. To even move a muscle as the music wrapped around them and tried to get them to understand. No thoughts of the cameras on me or of the audience sitting in front of their TVs crossed my mind. I only had thoughts of all the children out there, the ones fighting to live every day, fighting for the basic right to survive. I ignored the tears that wanted to fall, the tight ache in my chest.
I ignored the anger that weighed heavily on my heart and allowed the piano to free all my questions that plagued my mind.
Why can’t we be loved?
Why can’t we be forgiven?
Why can’t we be noticed?
Why are we so powerless?
Why do we have to be so scared?
Why can’t we just be safe?
