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That’s what I’m here for
To hold you close as you embrace your dreams
To hold you close as you fight for yourself
Don’t worry, baby, I won’t let you go
Lift your little hands up, I got you
Yeah, I got you
It’s the little dreams that matter
As your tiny hands cradle them close, so very close
Go ahead and nurture them until they’re reality
I’m here to hold you close…”
His voice continued, causing a deep ache in my chest as I was reminded about my dad and our time together. He loved that I loved music as much as he did. We’d always had our heads together, making music together, him grinning big as I learned and succeeded. Even when I failed.
Music was our connection.
I wiped at my face as the song finally ended, the last few piano notes ringing through the speakers until there was only static left and then the cassette tape ended. I sniffed, trying to get the ache in my chest to go away.
I shouldn’t have to hurt the way that I did, but I also couldn’t make it stop. Slowly, I unpacked the box, tucking all the tapes of his different songs into a tape rack to keep them safe. Someday, I’d go through them all again, but not anytime soon.
If one song did that to me, what would listening to the others do? These tapes were all I had to hear his voice now. They were worth more than anything else I had in my music studio, and probably all I’d ever have of him for the rest of my life.
I didn’t even know where he was. He left and never looked back, never tried to reach out to me. Never bothered to exist in my life.
Once the box was empty, I flattened it and put it by the door to take with me when I went out. There was a sudden need building in me, and I needed to let the emotions out before I began punching something. So I went over to my piano, grabbed blank music sheets, and got lost in the music, taking all my fears and frustrations and shoving them onto the music sheets.
Amy had called when I was working, but I ignored it, making a mental note to return her call after. I didn’t want to stop now and get distracted, no matter how many times my phone kept buzzing. Only after the fifth time broke my concentration did I finally grab it and look at the screen.
There was Amy’s missed call and then her follow-up message telling me to call her. Justin had also messaged me.
Justin:I wanted to let you know you were amazing.
Justin:And thank you for inviting us. That meant a lot to us. More than you know.
Justin:How are you doing?
Wanting to put the poor boy out of his misery, I finally responded.
Me:Good, you?
Justin:Good. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay after today.
Me:Why wouldn’t I be okay?
Justin:It was an emotional day.
Me:Yeah, true. But I’m okay, I promise.
Justin:Would you tell me if you weren’t?
I frowned. It felt like he was asking me a loaded question.
