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I run faster, like I’m being chased. A deluge of history barreling down on me. Then I spot it. The tree house is too far to tell if it’s falling apart like me or if it’s still usable. The simple walls protrude from the old oak tree, claiming its place at the edge of the forest. I push my legs harder. Air rushes my face, but it doesn’t cool me down. The closer I get, the faster my heart pounds.
The ladder going up looks intact. More than intact, actually. It looks like it’s been rebuilt with sturdy steps. I grip the first rung and pull myself up. Barely recall moving my feet or arms, but I’m suddenly in here. My place—ourplace. I lean my back into the wall and sink down to my ass. Pull my knees to my chest and drop my head, trying to drag in slower breaths.
Everything burns. Like I’m roasting on a spit, my molecules moving under my skin.
“Callahan!”
I blink, sure I’m hearing things. “Jo?” I say, but it comes out as a quiet croak.
She’s not here. I must be dreaming. Imagining a world where I’m allowed to love her.
“Callahan.” This time her voice is closer, like she’s climbing toward the tree house.
I tilt my head and see her mirage. Or is that really her? Jolene, Savior of my Serenity?
I rub my eyes, which feel gritty.
“Oh, Cal.” She rushes to my side and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “It’s okay.You’reokay. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Nothing is okay, but I cling to her and shove my face into her neck, hugging her as those memories continue bombarding me. I don’t recall the last time I gave myself permission to relive those days. Don’t remember the last time I slowed down long enough to feel. This place, though. These walls. This woman. It’s like I’m safe enough here to finally let go.
Slowly, I pull my face out of her neck. “You found me.”
She rubs a reassuring hand down my back. “I’ll always find you, Cal. You’re stuck with me.”
I take deeper breaths and wipe a tear tracking her cheek. “It kills me that I hurt Jake. Not sure he’ll forgive me. Not sure I’ll forgive myself. And you…” I look at this woman whom I love with all my heart, feel a piece of it tear off and wither. “I’m not sure how I’ll live without you.”
More tears trail her cheeks, but she smiles. A trembling smile I don’t fully understand. “You don’t have to live without me. We don’t have to pretend anymore.”
I shake my head vehemently. “But Jake—”
“I spoke to Jake,” she cuts in, “before coming here. He’s not upset about us. Not really, at least. He’s upset about Larkin.”
I blink at her. Nothing she said makes sense. “He ran out on me. Told me I had no clue what I’d done, like I ruined his life.”
“Cal.” She threads our fingers together, keeping us close. “The night you schemed to break up Jake and me by using Larkin, something else happened between them.”
“Jake told you I planned that?” My pulse stumbles back into a jog.
“He did.”
“And you don’t hate me?”
She blinks at me like I’m clueless. “I knew back then, Cal. At least, I was pretty sure that’s what happened. The rumors made it easier to break up with Jake, which I’d been planning to do anyway. And I was so sure you and I would finally be together. But I realized being with you so soon after Jake wasn’t right, and you pushed me away. But none of that’s why Jake ran out of Sugar and Sips. He’s not mad about losing me now or even about you and me dating. I think he broke a promise to Larkin or something. Hurt her in a way neither of them will explain.That’swhy he’s so upset. He’s angry with you for putting in motion whatever went down.”
I think back to seeing Jake at the Yard Goat Gallery recently. He took one look at me and Jo, and his good mood plummeted. He tore out of there and wouldn’t talk to me. Larkin had been with us then, standing right between us. Then today at Sugar and Sips. I assumed seeing Jo walk in was the final blow to Jake’s heart after my miserable confessions, but Larkin had come in too. That was when Jake said,You have no fucking clue what you did.
“What could have happened between them to upset him this much?”
“Wish I knew. But, Cal, Jake isn’t mad about the idea of us. He actually gave us his blessing.”
“He did?” She nods, but it’s not enough. Today has been a whirlwind. I pull our linked hands to my chest, want her to feel how fast my heart is racing. Proof my body is linked to her every word. “Could he have been telling you what you wanted to hear?”
“No.” She shakes her head firmly. “We had an honest conversation. He said seeing us together might be awkward for a bit, but more than anything, he wants you to be happy.”
It’s still not enough. I’m scared to believe her. Terrified to let myself finally imagine having Jolene in my arms whenever I want. “He could be lying.”
“He’s not.”
