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He’s furious with me, my mind chants.He can’t stand to be around me right now.He won’t forgive me for whatever trauma I caused.
I stand in the driveway. Plant my fists on my hips as I think. He might be at home. Or at the lake. When talking about Windfall over the years, he often mused about Bear Lake—missing the tranquil spot and the clear water. If he’s struggling, he could’ve gone there.
I head to my truck just as his blue Ford rolls down the street. He turns into the driveway, parks, and shoves his door open.
I wait, heart rattling a nervous tune.
Dark circles ring his eyes, and his face is drawn. “Why aren’t you working on the cabinets?” he says, like today is any old day. Like I’m not in love with his ex-girlfriend.
Like I didn’t monumentally fuck him over before WITSEC.
“Jake,” I start and then take off my baseball cap. A sign of respect and seriousness. I cradle it against my nervous stomach. “Thank you for understanding about Jo and me.”
He hooks his thumbs on his pockets, standing straight and stiff. “You’re together, then?”
I try my hardest not to grin, fighting the happy feeling bubbling up from my goddamn toes. “Yeah. She’s gonna stay living with me.”
“Wow.” He passes his hand over his mouth, revealing a surprising smirk. “You can let out that idiotic smile, Cal. I’m happy for you both. You deserve every good thing—as long as you’re not doing this because of the excitement of being with someone off-limits. You have to be with her because she owns your fucking heart.”
I swallow through the guilt that still lingers and remember how perfect the last couple of days have been. Raspberry picking. Sharing my shoebox of mementos. The utter comfort in our quiet moments. The intimacy and fun of sex with Jo. “I love her. More than I thought possible. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me. But no matter what you say, I know this must be tough on you. Weird or awkward, at least. I’ll do my best to make things comfortable when we’re all together.”
He nods. Glances at his boots as darkness tinges his expression. “I’m still furious at you. You caused a lot of damage with that Larkin stunt. A really bad string of events.”
“I’m sorry, even though I know words don’t help. I have no excuse for my behavior. Wish I could go back and punch myself, change what I did. But if there’s anything I can do to help now and make amends, even if it’s just being a sounding board for you to vent, please ask.”
He rubs his sleep-deprived eyes. Lifts and lowers his ball cap. “Unfortunately, there’s no talking through this. I’d just like to get to work.”
He brushes past me, but I grab his arm. “But we’re good? You forgive me?”
“Cal.” He grips the back of my neck in a reassuring hold. “My family is everything to me.Youare everything to me. I’m pissed and frustrated, and seeing Larkin around town isn’t helping, but we’re bound by more than blood. We’ve been through a shitstorm of hell, and the last thing I’ll allow is a rift to form between us. Be with Jolene. Let yourself be happy. If I’m in my head and distant, don’t take it personally. You might have set that stuff with Larkin in motion, but I made bad choices that night too. Those consequences are on me.”
He pulls me into a hug, because we’re huggers in this family. The crushing kind with back pounds and huge arms offering comfort.
“Thanks,” I say as we pull apart. “I asked Jo to come to Mom’s surprise party tomorrow. Hope that’s okay.”
He nods, then chews his lip. “Does Mom know about you two yet?”
I shake my head. “Thought I’d tell her in person.”
“More surprises at her surprise party,” he muses.
I scratch my neck. “You think she’ll be upset?”
“Like me, all Mom wants is for her family to be happy. I’ll make sure she knows I’m okay with things.”
“Thanks,” I say gruffly. “And I plan to slow down too. Not work as much.” Spend time with Jolene instead of filling my days with endless distractions. Play soccer with her. Maybe lounge around on the odd vacation day, drag her to Bear Lake for more picnicsand finger-fucking. Goddamn, yesterday was a stellar day.
Without warning, Jake plants his huge hand on my face and shoves me back. “Get the fuck to work and keep that nauseating smile in check.”
Not sure that’s possible, but I feel lighter than I have in a lifetime. Especially when I think about stopping by the Barrel tonight to see Jo.
My phone buzzes before I get far. I frown at Sandra’s name. After my talk with Jo, I thanked Sandra for her diligence over the years and ended our working relationship. I told her to terminate the deal selling the Barrel’s building, and that I’m done trying to control everyone’s happiness. If Sandra’s messaging me now, she must have hit a snag.
Feeling uneasy, I tap her message.
Sandra: The deal with the Barrel’s building is going ahead.
Me: I told you to kill it.
