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I must have come close to death and been healed. Perhaps even started to pass through to the other side, only to be dragged back. I ought to be in agony, or at the very least exhausted, tender, and drained. Instead, I sit up in bed without the slightest issue. Were it not for the guards, I could walk out of the room unaided. My mind, on the other hand, is a mess. There’s something about being murdered by your beloved older brother to score a cheap point that’ll do that to a person.
“Am I free to go?” I call out the words, startling the guards.
“God, you’re awake.” Nikki pushes through the men surrounding me. “No visible damage, eyes bright, sitting up by yourself. I thought you were dead for sure when you arrived.”
“Our boy really can work miracles,” one of the guards says.
The last time I’d seen Nikki, immediately after the spell reversal, she’d looked like she’d been in a fire, but there’s no hint of damage to her hair or skin anymore, either.
“I want to go home,” I say. I’m not sure which home I mean. London? The Windmill? My parents’ house? None of the options seem entirely appealing.
“This is your home now.” Gabriel appears from nowhere, right by the bed. His hair’s all over the place and there are shadows under his slightly swollen eyes. Even so, he only has to give his guards the slightest glance for them to file out of the room. Nikki hesitates for a moment, but he looks directly at her, nods, and she follows the others.
“This isn’t my home, Gabriel. Still, I guess you chose to save me rather than destroy my damn brother. I should thank you for that.”
He sits down on the bed. “Bloody hell, Sadie. You make it sound like I had a choice.”
He grips my hand, and it’s like a dam breaking. Suddenly, he’s clutching me against his chest, all traces of his icy composure and supercilious charm disappeared.
“I thought you were gone. I thought he’d hit you with too much power, pushed you straight over the edge. I couldn’t believe he would do that to you—I killed my father in large part to keep you safe, but for all Brendan’s other faults, I never thought I’d have to protect you fromhim. I couldn’t even begin to imagine you dying.”
He’s actually shaking. Mostly from panic and emotional turmoil, judging by his words, but probably from overuse of magic, too. I didn’t think there were enough spells in the world to push Gabriel into magical burnout, but apparently, a fight to the death with the one person who can match you followed by a near-resurrection will do the trick.
“I did almost kill you,” I whisper into his chest. “I’m a little surprised you’re able to forgive that this readily.”
“You blasted me in the heat of the moment, to protect your family as part of a war. What matters is that you made the conscious choice to bring me back.”
“Lie down,” I say. “You need the rest more than I do. I feel totally healed.” Physically, anyway, but I don’t draw that distinction. It’s not like the emotional pain is his fault.
He does as I ask, fully clothed, and I snuggle into his shoulder. “Take a little of my magic, if you need it,” I whisper. “I still owe you some back from that night six years ago.”
“Never. Or not unless I was actually about to collapse like you did at the casino. I love the way the magic flows through you. I’d never take any of it away. I’d never try to dampen your power.”
There’s a note of hysteria in his voice. Perhaps he’s thinking of Brendan, angling to take all my power for himself. Or perhaps of his poor mother, wasting away in her golden bracelets. Just like his father had wanted him to do to his hand-selected bride.
I stroke his hair. “I know. Just like I know you’re not a monster, whatever anyone says.” There are a hundred and one reasons not to be with him, but he’d respect my power, that much is clear.
“What happened to Brendan?” I ask after a moment.
“Once I’d got you stable, I got off a quick attack before bringing you back here for fuller healing. To the best of my knowledge, he’s recovering at your parents’. We’ll have to negotiate a truce or else accept all-out war. Hence the guards.”
His arm tightens around me. “Sadie, I know your head must be all over the place right now. And I’m not exactly feeling at my most relaxed and stable either. I ought to lie here in silence and let us both rest. But there are so many words that have been building up inside me. I’ve got to let them out or I might burst.”
“Gabriel, I’ve kind of gathered you’re a little intense and over-dramatic at the best of times. Say whatever you need to say.”
He takes a few audible deep breaths and manages to get his trembling under control. “Firstly, when I thought you were going to die, I felt like Brendan had killed me, too. If I hadn’t been able to drag you back from the brink, I honestly believe I’d have wasted away from the lack of you the way my mother wasted away from a lack of magic.
“Secondly, I despise your brother, and I like to win. I had him in my grasp. If I’d been forced to make the choice between killing him or saving anyone else, I’d have struck the fatal blow. With you, I didn’t hesitate even for a second.”
I close my eyes. I can barely breathe. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m trying to say I love you. Really and truly and honestly, on some fundamental level. I know I’ve said it before, and you think it’s a chat-up line at worst and obsession at best, but it felt real to me, and now I know for sure.”
I run a hand down his chest. His heart rate is utterly out of control. I let his words soak into my brain, without trying to think about them or formulate a reply. He was right. I’m in no mental or emotional state for this conversation.
“When you came over to trade in the lien, I got my hopes up that you felt the same way. More so that time we spent the night together. But sex is sex and a date’s a date. It was the evening you almost killed me that really convinced me.”
Despite everything, I laugh. “It wasn’t my most romantic gesture ever.”
