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“I’m fine, I promise,” I said. “He didn’t do anything. And I got him away from Bren before he could do him any real harm. Even if I’d had to go through with it, it would have been worth it. Now, where is he?”
Chrissie shook her head. “Bren’s upstairs, sleeping it off. He’ll be weak for a few days, but then he should be fine. He’ll have a little less power, but he had enough to spare.”
I planned to tell them about the lien eventually, but just then, it seemed like pouring fuel on an unpredictable fire.
Dad stormed outside. I watched through the window as he smashed Gabriel’s 1950s Jaguar into a million pieces, using a hammer at first, before moving on to fire and lightning, then a spell that seemed to be practically tearing what was left apart at the molecular level.
When we reached Bren’s room, I saw Chrissie’s description wasn’t quite accurate. He wasn’t so much sleeping as forcibly tucked into his bed under the power of my mum’s magic. At the sight of me, he broke through the invisible barrier just enough to sit up. I dashed over and threw my arms around him.
“Oh God, Bren, how are you feeling? You look awful. Like you’ve lost a load of blood or something.”
“I’m fine, thanks to you. But I would never, ever have let you go if I’d been able to stop you. I can’t believe the others agreed to it. Once I came round, Mum had to telepathically pin me to the bed to stop me storming over to Thornber Manor.”
“You know how bargains work, Bren,” I snapped, trying not to look at my finger. “Besides, I made my own choice. I knew what I was getting into.”
Still, it had been his fault I’d had to make the choice to begin with. He’d taken a risk by trying to enlarge the Dome, and I was the one paying for it. Unlike with my parents and innocent siblings, where I couldn’t reassure them fast enough, I was in no hurry to put Brendan out of his misery as to what had actually happened last night.
“I’ll kill him, Sadie, I swear. It won’t be linked to your bargain, but I’ll find an excuse, I’ll find an opportunity, and I’ll make the bastard pay.”
I took a deep breath. “He didn’t sleep with me. He didn’t take my magic. It was all just a game to him.”
Once again, I didn’t mention the lien. I’d tell my family once everyone started to calm down. I’d buy the biggest ring I could find to hide its physical manifestation. I’d go to The Windmill and get wasted to hide the mental manifestation. And then I’d leave town and escape his clutches. Move into my university accommodation a few months early. Magic was weaker outside Mannith. It’d be harder for him to track me down, especially if I didn’t use magic myself. The thought of going away for good and restricting my powers hurt in equal measure, but I tried to put a brave face on it and change the subject.
“Anyway, is it true what he said? Did you really try to extend the Dome? Did you manage it?”
Bren smiled as though he’d already forgotten about what I put myself through for him. “That bastard stopped me before I could complete the spell. But now I’ve got the basic idea, I reckon I can make it work at some point in future. I’ll have to build my strength back up first though—the attempt really took it out of me. That’s why Thornber was able to overpower me.”
I hugged him. “Bren, that’s amazing. You’re absolutely brilliant.”
It was too bad I wouldn’t see my family finally achieve the one thing we’d aspired to for generations. But I couldn’t stay here.
All he’s entitled to is one night of sex and some of your magic, I told myself again.It’s not that bad. It’s not worth running away. You were willing to do it last night.
But last night had been an emergency. You’d run into a burning building to save a loved one; you wouldn’t casually stroll into the flames when you didn’t have to.
If he claimed his “right” to sex, the fact that I’d have no real choice in the matter meant that would be a terrible violation of my body.
As for the magic, it was possible he’d only take a token amount, but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t all but drain me. For a practitioner, losing your power—and by extension, losing your extra senses and your connection to the earth—is akin to losing your soul and your eyesight at the same time.
Just those two considerations would be enough to make getting out of town the only sane answer. And everything about him and his overwhelming power and unpredictable ways terrified me beyond all reason.
But apart from all that, I’d felt something I couldn’t quite describe, first when he’d shared his magic with me—why the hell had I been stupid enough to accept?—again when he’d kissed me, and once more when he’d imposed the lien. Some sort of connection greater than anything I’d promised out loud.
I needed to get away.
* * *
I wake up in a cold panic.It’s okay. You’re in London. He doesn’t know where you are. He can’t touch you.
It’s the little mantra I use every time I have a dream like this. Then I remember where I actually am and how that reassuring statement isn’t entirely true anymore.
I lay there for an interminable amount of time. It’s so much darker and quieter than my room in London, where the streetlights penetrate my curtains, and sirens and shouting drunks can be heard all night long.
In an attempt to shake off the strains of the day and the terror of my dreams, to my shame, my mind goes to its darkest place and my fingers between my legs.
Let me be clear here. It’s not the masturbation I’m ashamed of. I’m a fully paid-up subscriber to the modern view that it’s healthy, natural, maybe even empowering. It’s the things I think about to bring myself off that scare me. Fantasies are meant to be healthy, too, however filthy, however twisted. But surely not like this.
In my horniest moments, it’s always a variation on the same theme that screams through my mind. It’s that night, six years ago at Thornber Manor, but Gabriel Thornber’s intent on collecting.
