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“She’s clean,” Nikki announces, in a tone of voice that suggests this is a crushing disappointment. If she’d found a weapon, she’d probably have used it on me.
Gabriel nods. “Excellent. Not that a weapon was my biggest concern in this situation. Slip these on, and we’ll go inside.” He holds out two delicate golden bracelets.
“I don’t understand.”
“These are much the same as the handcuffs your brother has to wear. But handcuffs are so uncomfortable and inelegant for a friendly conversation on a hot summer’s day.”
“You mean they’ll block my magic?” I can’t take my eyes off the jewellery, and I can’t quite control my breathing. “I’m not letting that happen.”
“Then leave. You’re the one who wanted to speak to me. Unlike far too many people in this town, I’m not stupid enough to underestimate you. Take it as a compliment.”
“If I go in there, weaponless and with my magic blocked, I’ll be at your mercy, like any stupid human girl who wants a bit of excitement and danger.”
“And if I let you in therewithoutyour magic blocked, you could murder me and my guests. You turn up unannounced, you demand a private conversation, you give no explanation. You can see the dilemma I’m in.”
Breathe in for four. Hold for four. Out for four. Hold for four.My mind sinks into the earth, just slightly, and my body starts to calm. I’ve been at his mercy for six years, when you look at it one way. Up the ante a little today, and that’ll never be a problem again.
“Sadie, your eyes are burning so brightly I can see the fire through your glasses. It’s such a turn on when you do your core meditation thing. I’ve never seen anyone go so deeply into it as you.”
I don’t reply, and I don’t come out of the trance I’ve fallen into. I just hold out my arms. The bracelets are unnaturally cold as he slides them over my hands, his fingers brushing against mine. The second they settle against my wrists, I’m jolted back into the moment with a little cry. They’ve cut my connection to the earth and to everything else around me. It’s like I’m looking through a pane of glass, listening with earphones in, smelling through a slightly blocked nose. Presumably, this is what it’s like for normal people all the time. And what poor Bren has had to put up with for weeks.
Goodness knows what Gabriel sees in my expression, but even he softens. “I take zero pleasure in taking your magic away, Sadie, even temporarily. This is simply self-preservation. Now, do you still want that conversation?”
I nod gently, not trusting myself to speak.
“Go back to the party,” he tells Nikki and Jamie. “I’m taking her to the study. Don’t let anyone disturb us.”
Nikki frowns like she’s about to protest, but simply shakes her head at him, glares at me, and disappears back out to the garden.
Gabriel holds out his arm. He probably expects me to shrug it off, but I take it. It’ll be practice for later.
He leads me into the hallway and up a sweeping staircase. “Not using magic to take us there?” I ask.
He smiles. “It’d rip you apart in that condition.”
Wow. I can’t quite get my mind around how deeply embedded magic is in my day-to-day life, even when I think I’ve turned my back on it.
Once we reach the study, he closes and locks the door, then sits down on an old green leather sofa that looks like two armchairs have been melded together. The exposed stone floor keeps the room cool even on this hot evening.
“Drink?” he asks.
“You’re not stupid enough to let me in here unblocked. I’m not stupid enough to accept your offerings,” I reply.
I’m sure I said something similar to that last time I was here. I certainly sat beside him like this. The whole situation seems all too familiar.
“So, what is it you’re so desperate to ask or tell me? What made you come all this way, when you’ll usually go out of your way to avoid me?”
I close my eyes.Breathe in, breathe out,slipping into my usual meditation on autopilot. The simple flows of oxygen help my nerves a little, but it’s impossible to reach the earth, and that terrifies me.
I force my eyes open again, hold out a braceleted arm, and place my right hand at the centre of his chest, mimicking his years-old gesture.
“I want to cash in the lien,” I whisper. “I want to give myself to you, just once, and then be free of it.”
He doesn’t do anything as crude as gasp, and if I were a little less close to him, I’d think my words had barely registered. But with my hand pressed against him, I can feel his heart race.
“And what if I don’t want you to cash it in?” he replies. “Perhaps I value this connection more than I’d value a one-night stand or a little extra magic.”
Again, the rise and fall of his chest tells its own story, but I still spin out all my carefully rehearsed arguments.
