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Kai
Out of all thereasons I could come up with as to why Lana Rivera was such a ruthless killer, this was the least expected.
But fuck me, does it explain so goddamn much … About her and her brother.
“Sicklittlebitch13… that’s why you put that thirteen there,” Milo says.
“All those predators, you kill them because of her,” Nathan mutters. “They’re an outlet.”
I grab her chin. “You did not cause your father’s misery, Lana.” When her eyes drift, I say, “Look at me. You are not responsible for what other people do. Not your brother, not your father, not your mother.”
“But I am my mother’s child,” she whispers.
And there it is.
The fucking bullet that’s been boring its way deeper into her skin until it almost fractured her heart and mine along with it.
Fuck.
I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my embrace, almost crying along with her just because of the pain she’s feeling, and I wish more than anything I could swallow all of her anguish and make it mine just so she wouldn’t have to feel it anymore.
All this time, she has been killing men who turned into monsters just to repent.
A girl with all that agony left to fight her own demons that follow her wherever she goes.
She sniffs. “When I look in the mirror, I see her.”
I lean back and grasp her face with both hands, my forehead against hers as I gaze into her soul. “You are not your mother. You willneverbe like her. Do you hear me? She was the foulest creature on this planet, and you are a living, walking angel.”
She tries to shake her head, but I won’t let her.
“Yes, you are,” I reiterate. “You kill to save people from pain. There is nothing more angelic than that.”
“But I’m a murderer,” she says, her bloodied hands trembling. “And I can’t stop. I can’t stop the killing. I can’t stop wanting more blood, more pain, more suffering. I can’t make it stop.”
“Then don’t stop,” Nathan says, drawing her attention away. “Don’t ever fucking stop.”
“What …?” she mutters.
He looks at her like he’s in awe of her self-control. “Kill whoever you need to kill, but don’t you ever hate yourself. You don’t deserve it.”
She blinks a couple of times and brushes the tears away.
“I understand now why you were so adamant on protecting your secrets,” Milo says. “And why you’re so obsessed with protecting people. Your brother. Us. His sister. You’re trying to erase their pain.”
She smiles gently. “I don’t understand; I thought you’d all—”
“What? Laugh? Be mad?” Nathan says, caressing her cheek. “I used to want to hate you so damn much, but now that I know the truth, how could I?”
“But you hate my brother,” she says.
He nods several times. “Yeah, well, we all know what he did to me was unfair.” He holds up his missing finger. “But I get why he’s a vicious bastard now.”
She snorts and laughs it off, but when he cups her face, she still leans into it.
“So you’re not going to tell anyone?” she asks.
