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“I will bring you proper clothing.” My frustration with myself bleeds into my voice, and she shrinks away. “The fault is entirely mine.”
“The girls,” she says, voice rough with disuse. I have to lean forward in order to hear what she’s saying at all. I find that I enjoy the sound of her voice, smooth and soft. It’s like an arrow in the wind. “Are they your daughters?”
Daughters! I would lose what little of my mind remains!
I can’t stop the laugh that booms from my chest at the mere thought of it. Gods, they’ve nearly driven me mad enough. They chatter so much that the echo of it follows me everywhere, ringing in my ears even as I go about my official duties. I haven’t had a moment of silence in my own home since they were born, and it seems as though I never will again, unless I’m lucky enough to pawn them off to the council.
And that brings only more problems. What if the girls decide to pair early or with someone unsuitable? I’ve already had to chase away more than one suitor, and the girls are more stubborn than a binmou.
The girl flinches at my unruly laughter, and I shut my mouth like a trap to silence it. She’s so easily startled, and I don’t want her to flee beneath the bed sheets again.
It’s been so long since I laughed like this that I’d forgotten just how loud I could be.
“They’re not mine.” I try to keep my voice as soft as hers, but it’s difficult. I’m used to shouting out spells and orders. I’ve never had to silence myself for anyone’s comfort before, save the King himself. “They’re my sister’s. She met her purpose many years ago.”
The girl tilts her head, unfamiliar with the euphemism I use for the triplets’ benefit, who are all likely standing with their ears pressed to the door. For a moment I consider sending a light spark to chase them away, but I decide not to punish them for honest curiosity.
It could frighten the human.
I lower my voice as much as it can go. “My sister died a long time ago.”
Except it wasn’t so long, not for a demon like myself. It seems only a few moons ago she was here, cajoling me to conjure up her favorite snacks as she grew the triplets in her burgeoning womb.
I had been so fearful for her, and she was so disdainful.
“And how many times have I feared for your safety,” she’d demanded with arms crossed above her swollen stomach. “While you attend to the King?”
I didn’t answer her, but my lips pressed together so tightly they drew blood. Triplets are rare.
Surviving the birth of triplets, doubly so.
We’d both known she might not survive. And so when the father lost his life in the arena, she’d come to live with me in my estate, and we’d set up the nursery in my home. She’d given me their names ahead of time, and trained me in infant care because she’d told me that zagfers couldn’t be trusted with the precious lives of newborn demons.
To my surprise, I find I’m telling the human all of this.
“They never slept at the same time,” I sigh. “And so I did what I must, and fashioned a pallet of blankets beside their cribs as though I were at war. Valindra in particular was a beast as an infant. We couldn’t keep a wet nurse, because she’d go for blood every time.”
“Oh!”
“It happens sometimes, without the mother. The children do not have the maternal bond that shields their teeth. In any case, it’s a good omen, among demons, to feed so strongly. Of course, it meant that I had to use other methods.” What an exhausting experience that had been, trying to conjure a proper nipple the triplets wouldn’t destroy with their fangs. If they had tolerated the wet nurse, I might have had a few moments to myself. Instead, their infancy passed as a whirlwind of exhaustion and grief.
“I was no substitute for their mother, but I did my best. Which, as you can see by their abhorrent behavior, was entirely inadequate.” I heave a disappointed breath, but I can’t help the way my lips tug up in the corners. “They’re spirited, just like she was. I was there for their first steps, their first flight, and their first sparks of magic. All of them are trouble, mind you, but I see her in them every day. I’d like to think she’d find my parenting adequate.”
The human sniffles, and I stifle my surprise. Humans are weak and prone to sickness. have I failed in my care for her so much that she’s grown ill?
She glances up at me from beneath her long lashes, and I understand.
She’s crying again.
Tears spill down her cheeks freely.
I’m honestly baffled. What have I done now? I’ve kept my voice quiet and fangs hidden the entire time. “Is something wrong?”
“It must have been so hard for you to lose your sister.” She wipes her eyes with her grimy sleeve, and I suppress a wince. I need to find her new clothing immediately. “And for her to miss raising her own children. I can’t even imagine how the girls feel, having lost their mother.”
“You cry over a stranger.” The concept is absurd, but I find myself strangely touched by her care. “You don’t even know her name.”
“You could tell me.”
